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Open Poetry #45
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therightside
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 64
USA

0 posted 2009-12-25 06:48 AM


There's no longer that place I feel safe, I feel free
No longer can I arrive unannounced, use my own key

Family divided, relationships forever changed
Naively waiting in limbo, in denial, in blame

Reality hit hard, still reluctant to accept
A future of heartache, of change, of neglect

When will this nightmare emerge from itself
Too old to still suffer from Mom and Dad giving up

Only 24, burden of 40, still 11 in my heart
Unaware, is there an age limit for falling apart?

Nothing is perfect no matter how hard I try
Perfection, my passion, my purpose, the vice on which I rely

© Copyright 2009 therightside - All Rights Reserved
LivingConfused
Junior Member
since 2009-12-27
Posts 40

1 posted 2009-12-27 12:03 PM


This I felt a need to reply on.  A good work.  A nice turn for me just past the middle.(I thought it was from the perspective of a spouse not child).  My favorite line.
"Only 24, burden of 40, still 11 in my heart"
The images that brought were powerful for me.
  Thank you

therightside
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 64
USA
2 posted 2009-12-27 08:52 PM


Thank you so much. When I reread it I realized it does seem from the spousal point of view at first. An interesting contemplation for me to ponder now. Thanks!
LivingConfused
Junior Member
since 2009-12-27
Posts 40

3 posted 2009-12-28 01:38 AM


You are welcome.  I thought the switch (spouse to child) was intentional.
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
4 posted 2009-12-28 02:13 PM


"When will this nightmare emerge from itself
Too old to still suffer from Mom and Dad giving up"

Unless you changed a line this sentence easily told me who was speaking. And 24 or 34, it does not seem to matter. The children  so often suffer and wonder if they could have helped. But always remember, no it was not the child or children, it is what ever it was. Just never try to take sides. You would only suffer more if you do. It would do  nothing to help the situation.   I have seen it happen to  others.  best to you,latearrival.

[This message has been edited by latearrival (12-28-2009 03:37 PM).]

Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
5 posted 2009-12-28 02:58 PM


This is very emotoional and I understand how hard it would be since my parents had a stable marriage and it was my reality and would have been so tough if it were not there.  Things will get better for you when the shock subsides.  Love, Joyce
Zeigeist
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311
Michigan
6 posted 2009-12-28 09:56 PM


A wonderfully honest poem.

Zeitgeist

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