How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #45 Archive
 Cleansing
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Cleansing

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Zeigeist
Member
since 12-09-2009
Posts 312
Michigan


0 posted 12-12-2009 02:47 PM       View Profile for Zeigeist   Email Zeigeist   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Zeigeist

Cleansing

Donít be fooled by
Some foolish game
Or led astray by buttered lies.
If it aint true then it aint real.
Another hard twist
of the thumbscrew and
you may find some honesty.
Thatís the point of it.

Suffering for the pains sake,
For the cream
of the truth to rise up.

Enough for
your eyes to bleed.
But short of your palms
Turning up.

Cut through the weekness,
Trim away societyís fat.
Stare so hard at your shadows,
You make your pain a flashlight.

What are you dragging?

Zeitgeist
© Copyright 2009 Zeigeist - All Rights Reserved
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 12-26-2005
Posts 7633
The Southwest


1 posted 12-12-2009 03:29 PM       View Profile for The Lady   Email The Lady   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for The Lady



let me say this... "wow!
SlowlyFallAway
Member
since 08-29-2008
Posts 279
North Carolina


2 posted 12-12-2009 05:36 PM       View Profile for SlowlyFallAway   Email SlowlyFallAway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SlowlyFallAway

"Stare so hard at your shadows
you make your pain a flashlight"

Amazing lines. Loved it.
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 02-22-2002
Posts 9456
Michigan, USA


3 posted 12-12-2009 07:35 PM       View Profile for ThisDiamond   Email ThisDiamond   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ThisDiamond's Home Page   View IP for ThisDiamond

..."Suffering for the pains sake,
For the cream
of the truth to rise up"...

An elegant line amid a very eclectic write.
Interesting theme.
LindsayP
Member Elite
since 07-28-2007
Posts 3420
Australia, Victoria


4 posted 12-12-2009 08:34 PM       View Profile for LindsayP   Email LindsayP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LindsayP


Donít be fooled by
Some foolish game
Or led astray by buttered lies.
If it aint true then it aint real.

How right you are Zeigiest, they are words of wisdom. enjoyable write.

Lindsay
Zeigeist
Member
since 12-09-2009
Posts 312
Michigan


5 posted 12-12-2009 09:24 PM       View Profile for Zeigeist   Email Zeigeist   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Zeigeist

Thank you everyone for your warm replies. It truly has me overwhelmed! I enjoy this place and you all very much.

Z.
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


6 posted 12-14-2009 11:57 AM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Gosh! You have several creatively scribed truisms in this cleansing poem! Well done!

Giving you a warm, welcoming pip hug,

Earth Angel
Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 03-03-2010
Posts 1185
Osaka, Japan


7 posted 03-13-2010 07:12 AM       View Profile for Earl Brinkman   Email Earl Brinkman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Earl Brinkman

I have never read a work like this before - four stanzas that stand on their own but are somehow connected I believe by the theme of cleansing.  The vocabulary you have used was well chosen and the images that you have created were vivid if at times a bit grotesque.  Grotesque they may be but they do leave a lasting impression.  My only question is by asking the reader what weight they are carrying around are you indirectly suggesting that they are in need of cleansing?
Zeigeist
Member
since 12-09-2009
Posts 312
Michigan


8 posted 03-13-2010 12:58 PM       View Profile for Zeigeist   Email Zeigeist   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Zeigeist

Thank you Earl, Yes you are correct about the last line. The past can be a heavy weight and clogging up the present with its filth. Cleansing is sometimes the solution.

Zeitgeist
Zeigeist will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #45 >> Cleansing Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors