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Open Poetry #45
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viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

0 posted 2009-12-12 01:06 AM


tried to teach me to count the rays
rays of sun shining off your eyes
refracting and reflecting
the world around us
swirling it and making it seem drab
drab in comparison to the eyes behind the glare

____________________________________________
Bad Habits, or whatever. Eyeball miniseries.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

© Copyright 2009 Paul Weisbrod - All Rights Reserved
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
1 posted 2009-12-12 02:32 AM


Loverly sunshine you shine on us, Paul.

A

watchingsummer
New Member
since 2009-12-13
Posts 8
USA
2 posted 2009-12-13 04:13 PM


wow, I really liked that. i loved your word usage, "refracting and reflecting." really nice.
it seems like it needs another line tho, like a conclusion to it.

"If I know what love is, it is because of you." -Hermann Hesse

watchingsummer
New Member
since 2009-12-13
Posts 8
USA
3 posted 2009-12-13 04:13 PM


wow, I really liked that. i loved your word usage, "refracting and reflecting." really nice.
it seems like it needs another line tho, like a conclusion to it.

"If I know what love is, it is because of you." -Hermann Hesse

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
4 posted 2009-12-14 12:30 PM


Alison, you're a doll. I'd mail you a wedding ring if I could afford the postage stamp.

Summa my true playa fo real, thanks very much. I appreciate the kind words. Glad to hear you enjoyed.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
5 posted 2009-12-14 12:24 PM


As they say, "The 'eyes' have it!"

Paul you think and see as a poet. Your poetry is a treat to read. I enjoy your quaint, quirky ~ and quite entertaining perspectives on the world around you! Keep on shining!

Big hug,
Linda

SlowlyFallAway
Member
since 2008-08-29
Posts 279
North Carolina
6 posted 2009-12-14 03:58 PM


"... to the eyes behind the glare"

I got an intriguing visual from that, awesome work.

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
7 posted 2009-12-14 04:33 PM


Earth Angel, thanks. That was loaded with compliments, and I'll humbly accept them, undeserving.

Slowly fall away, thanks for reading. I am glad you liked it.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
8 posted 2009-12-15 06:15 AM


What a great observer you are and how beautifully you share what only you can see!

Love,
Margherita

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
9 posted 2009-12-15 04:15 PM


I like it, very bright!
May sun always light your path


ARCTIC WIND

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
10 posted 2009-12-15 06:30 PM


Margo with a twist of lemon, thanks so very much. You always make me feel gouda like cheese.

Arctic wind, thanks yo. such kind words.  

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

QuietAstronomer
Junior Member
since 2009-12-13
Posts 18
North Carolina, USA
11 posted 2009-12-15 10:15 PM


Nice contretemps.
Subtle lead in to deep emotion.

thank you.

QA

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
12 posted 2009-12-16 01:18 AM


That there, QA, is a fancy word. I had to google it.

Thanks very much, sir or madame, for the kind words.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

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