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Open Poetry #45
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therightside
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 64
USA

0 posted 2009-12-11 07:04 AM


I always did...
     Demand. Command. Repremand.

You would forever...
     Embrace, obey and convey.

  Convey to me your guilt.
  Convey to me your love.
  Convey the hidden depths of your soul.
Yet nothing ever seemed enough for me, I know.

Attempting to fill such an emptiness, only the coldest of hearts could bare...

               ...is a burden I'll never ask you to share.

© Copyright 2009 therightside - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2009-12-11 11:58 AM


very sad to me

I like it a lot

therightside
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 64
USA
2 posted 2009-12-11 12:30 PM


thank you so much for taking the time to read and for your feedback. I greatly appreciate any input! If you have some time I have one more that I posted on the 9th, it is just below in this same forum "Stuck Inside Myself". Would love your insight. Thanks again! Take care xo
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
3 posted 2009-12-12 11:49 AM



the poem tells a lot about you
and yes, it's very sad

well done!

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
4 posted 2009-12-12 12:07 PM


a very deep reflection!  Enjoyed...  Whether one looks at himself or learns from others, reflection is a good thing i think.

Very well written!

Welcome to Piptalk!

Zeigeist
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311
Michigan
5 posted 2009-12-12 02:17 PM


Nice. You won't ask..but will his heart listen?. Great depth in this one.

Z.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
6 posted 2009-12-15 12:13 PM


I like this introspection very much... sometimes we know we're the problem. *S* Welcome to Passions! *S*
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