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Open Poetry #45
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Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2009-12-06 06:27 PM



They watched each other
As the ashes fell
Between their coffee mugs

Her hand slowly on his wrist
Hair slightly past her shoulders,
Winding down her soft back
As if she was underneath a tunnel of water
Watching his steady eyes
As she sunk further into her seat.

He was calm
As he played with thoughts of
What she looked like behind her black shades;

Her mask of security;
Even though he would not dare
Ruin a gift from fall
As the night lowered its eyes
Watching them run until
Not a soul could be found in sight

Between their fury, their passion,
With a sheepish smile, she revealed her eyes,
To the darkest heaven,
To his softened smile,
He finally yelled her name.

© Copyright 2009 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2009-12-07 08:58 AM


Very intense and well crafted.

Love,
Margherita

GBride
Senior Member
since 2009-07-02
Posts 538

2 posted 2009-12-10 07:08 PM


It's a story.
I don't understand why he yelled her name.
Absolutely delightful.
I like your style!

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
3 posted 2009-12-11 07:06 AM


enjoyed your poem.

yann

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2009-12-11 04:44 PM


yeah...intense is a good word
Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
5 posted 2009-12-12 01:06 PM


appreciate the comments, adios

Tomer

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