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Open Poetry #45
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Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

0 posted 2009-11-10 01:07 AM


When darkness filled my window pane
And shadows flickered through my brain
The memories returned to tease
They mocked me; I could not appease

I did not know you were not sane
When darkness filled my window pane
You lurked and cowered in the night
You stole far more than was your right

I waited when the lights went out
Your whisper shot out like a shout
When darkness filled my window pane
So quietly you’d call my name

I hated you when all would sleep
The secrets I was taught to keep
In nightmare moments you remained
When darkness filled my window pane

-

Alison

© Copyright 2009 Alison - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
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Eternity
1 posted 2009-11-10 09:32 AM


Quite intriguing, dear Alison, most beautifully written!

Enjoyed this greatly!

Love,
Margherita

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
2 posted 2009-11-10 09:40 AM


Thank you, Margherita.  Know what?  I want to sleep in a few more hours, that's what I really want.  Why does morning come so often in the ....morning?  And why do airplanes leave at 1:00 am and people have to be taken to the airport?

Sorry, I got lost in a bit of a whine here.

xoxoxo
Love,
Alison

Margherita
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Eternity
3 posted 2009-11-10 09:46 AM


Smiling. Tell me to stay up till 2am but don't ask me to get out of the bed at 6am ... though dawn is a breathtaking spectacle and when I am up I do enjoy it (but that does not happen often!).

I do understand you!

Hugs
Margherita

Dr.Moose1
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Bewilderment , USA
4 posted 2009-11-10 10:27 AM


Alison,
Polished to perfection.
Doc

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
5 posted 2009-11-10 10:57 AM


Thank you, Moose Man.



A

2islander2
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since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
6 posted 2009-11-10 11:29 AM


hello Alison, it looks as a painful experience and you can be glad it's over...Your poem sound deep and true.

regards

yann

Poetal
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since 2009-11-09
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Texas, United States
7 posted 2009-11-10 12:49 PM


Deep thoughts with wonderful rhythm and rhyme scheme. I appreciate a good write and this one you could make into a song.

AL Inmon

Mysteria
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8 posted 2009-11-10 01:47 PM


I just LOVED it!  This should be a book That poetry workshop has turned you into a poetic perfectionist young lady!  I have lost the time and patience to write these days, but love reading good poetry here.

        
                Mysteria

Artic Wind
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since 2007-09-16
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Realm of Supernatural
9 posted 2009-11-10 04:36 PM


Haunting! ! Also, see that your learning new stuff everyday in the Poetry Workshop, neat!



ARCTIC WIND

shalisadefa
Member
since 2009-08-13
Posts 114

10 posted 2009-11-10 06:21 PM


Can't help but think this poem is about incest. Do correct me if I'm wrong.
Underneed the rythm and rhyme I read a grieving story of abuse.

Still it's a most intriguing write.


LindsayP
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since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
11 posted 2009-11-10 08:15 PM



That is a very cute poem dear Alison and so

very well written. A joy to read. Love.

Lindsay

nakdthoughts
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since 2000-10-29
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Between the Lines
12 posted 2009-11-11 06:58 AM


another good read, especially since I love rhythm and rhyming...

though except for espionage, I wonder if it is ever good to keep secrets...

You are writing very well!

M

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
13 posted 2009-11-13 03:00 AM


Thank you all.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate your comments.  It's interesting how varied the responses are on this poem.  I won't elaborate on it as I think it's best to just let people read it for what they believe it is all about.

Again, thank you.

Alison

suthern
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14 posted 2009-11-14 09:13 PM


I hated you when all would sleep
The secrets I was taught to keep
In nightmare moments you remained
When darkness filled my window pane

I think we all bring our experiences to our interpretations... and mine have me wanting to give you a hug even as I applaud the excellence of each line.

Osprey
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since 2009-04-12
Posts 249

15 posted 2009-11-14 09:22 PM


That is excellent. I'll not go into what it says to me, but it says it so well.
Marchmadness
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since 2007-09-16
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So. El Monte, California
16 posted 2009-11-14 09:59 PM


Yes, Alison, I'm sure this piece will bring to mind many varied experiences for different readers and that is what a really good poem is all about. So well written.
                                 Ida

Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
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Realms of Light
17 posted 2009-11-15 10:30 AM


Alison, I have to tell you, girlfriend, the images that are playing through my mind make me want to jump into my monitor and go give you a comforting hug and rock you into a gentle, peaceful sleep. I hope this is just poetry ~ albeit VERY good poetry!!!

Love and a warm hug,

Linda

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
18 posted 2009-11-15 02:56 PM


Thank you, friends of mine -

I can't really think of any thing more to say right now.

Thank you.

Love,
Alison

Martie
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California
19 posted 2009-11-15 07:48 PM


Alison....Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy too.  You've written a sad song perhaps, but with dignity and grace.
GBride
Senior Member
since 2009-07-02
Posts 538

20 posted 2009-12-01 07:39 AM


Deligful!!!
A friend once told me, "When I have a resentment against someone, I am allowing them live in my head rent free."

Susan Caldwell
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since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
21 posted 2009-12-01 09:10 AM


Oh! that was outstanding Alison!

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
22 posted 2009-12-05 03:24 PM


Thank you to those who took the time to respond to this poem.  Each comment has meant a great deal to me.

Love,
Alison

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