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Open Poetry #45
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Neurosis
| Open Poetry #45 |
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Neurosis |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida 
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I am scared every day; that what was, will be again and what hasn’t, will become. This level of fear devours; an insatiable self-hating hunger. Incapable of making it better or knowing what will be. Making it difficult to receive what is needed or wanted. Destroying the chance of putting the fears to rest Self-fulfilling Paranoia. Knowing from the start, and still believing it wouldn’t be like this. It’s so different from the dreams or even the reality. Nothing is enough. I need because it isn’t, I want because it is and may stop being so. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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| © Copyright 2009 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved | |||
Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
You know, I am not speechless because I am writing what I would say if I were with you. Your poem is stark and powerful. You have presented a truth that makes me want to reach out in ways that I cannot. However, your words push into me and I am going to carry them with me today and think about them. Thank you for this. A |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
Your plea reminds of how helplessly human we are. Powerful |
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luminosity Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813 |
wow.......this kind of writing...though a dilema in progress......this kind of writing will find a way to healing.... of course.... I wrote myself to healing.....sigh...and now find myself right back again..... there is much truth here |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Go with the flow...so many thoughts, so many feelings...wheeewwww...Hi Susan |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear Susan, We should all avoid a self-fulfilling Paranoia. That's a bad thing. Love Bobby |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Stop and breathe deeply when it nags at you. Your words are eloquent. But there is a way out, sometimes the tunnel of fear swallows us again, but we know no darkness resists to the call of light, which is, in fact, in the end so much more powerful. You can't not be what you are, even if you deny it. You are a spark divine ... Love, Margherita  |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
"Incapable of making it better or knowing what will be. Making it difficult to receive what is needed or wanted. Destroying the chance of putting the fears to rest Self-fulfilling " I feel like you are writing my life right now~~  M |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
"Knowing from the start, and still believing it wouldn’t be like this." KNOW just how you feel |
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Edder Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671 |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
dear Susan that is a very sad poignant post and I wish I could say something that would help your state of mind. Have you ever thought about volunteer work, perhaps as a carer or similar, where you go and meet a lot of other people who are worse off than yourself. A problem shared is a problem halved and it would give you a whole new outlook on life. think about it my dear, it's definately worth a try. Good luck, Love and a big hug. Lindsay |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Susan....chocolate will help. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Thank you all for such wonderful responses... Edder! how are you?? Find me on Facebook! for those of you that show concern...  I am okay...sometimes I take a little feeling, in this case loneliness, and exaggerate to the extreme for effect...makes better writing that way (at least I hope)..  "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Wheewwww~ This is a heart-pounder. First, welcome back Susan! lol and on another note, this is some powerful stuff. Damn girl, this is the stuff that people need to read. Excellent. ARCTIC WIND |
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Mas814 Junior Member
since 2009-11-13
Posts 15NY (not nyc) |
Although we know better, fear holds us back every single day. This is a great reminder of what we need to do,live for ourselves. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
Helen took the lines I was gonna quote... very powerful stuff! |
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