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Open Poetry #45
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AncientHippie
Member
since 2009-10-15
Posts 411
Surfing the Cosmic Flow

0 posted 2009-10-29 09:15 AM




Watching
a relationship e
                         r
                           o
                             d
                               e
is like drowning:
flashes of the past
flow before your eyes.

With the knowledge
of hindsight,
you watch
and recognise
the failures,
the weaknesses:
the massing of the clouds
that will (in a moment: in an eternity)
obscure the sun.

"We are stardust:  we are golden:  and we've got to get ourselves back to the garden."  --Joni Mitchell "Woodstock"

© Copyright 2009 James D. Fanning - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
1 posted 2009-10-29 09:22 AM


And by the time you get the forecast, it's too late to avoid the storm. *S* Beautiful write!
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2009-10-29 09:28 AM


Love this very much, dear Jim. Words and presentation match your topic so very well and show your sensitivity. In those moments the obscuring of the sun seems to last eternally no doubt.

Love,
Margherita


Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
3 posted 2009-10-29 01:43 PM


Jim, what a heart felt piece (ouch)been there done that. Good job~L
Dreamer05
Junior Member
since 2009-06-23
Posts 30
Kansas
4 posted 2009-10-29 05:52 PM


Love the visual effect of the word 'erode'. It really makes you see it.

~Dreamer05~

AncientHippie
Member
since 2009-10-15
Posts 411
Surfing the Cosmic Flow
5 posted 2009-10-30 08:34 AM


Suthern:  Thank you.  Sometimes the storm is a necessary catharsis.

Margherita: Thank you so much.  Fortunately, on occasion, eternity is only a very long and painful aspect of Now.

Thanks, Lori:  I hope you wear the T-shirt proudly!

Dreamer:  Thank you.  I am glad your enjoyed the piece.

Peace, and
Namaste
Jim

"We are stardust:  we are golden:  and we've got to get ourselves back to the garden."  --Joni Mitchell "Woodstock"

MorningStar
Member
since 2009-10-26
Posts 290
Pittsburgh, Pa
6 posted 2009-10-31 09:32 PM


Sometimes I wish life came with a do-over option cause it's true that hindsight is 20/20. This is beautifully written!

Aenea

AncientHippie
Member
since 2009-10-15
Posts 411
Surfing the Cosmic Flow
7 posted 2009-11-02 10:19 AM


Thank you, Aenea, (interesting palindrome!)Life does come with a do-over option...it is called Time.
Cheers
Jim

"We are stardust:  we are golden:  and we've got to get ourselves back to the garden."  --Joni Mitchell "Woodstock"

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
8 posted 2009-11-02 02:04 PM


How very true, Jim. I think you have learned a great deal from this lifetime.
Enjoy your wisdom.
                               Ida

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
9 posted 2009-11-02 02:14 PM


Ancient Wise One ~ I believe you to be one who learns from all of your life experiences and are able to translate that into wisdom which you share with others through your divine poetry!

Live & Learn ~ and Grow! ~ and Teach!

EA

ken206573
Member
since 2008-10-14
Posts 487

10 posted 2009-11-02 04:36 PM


This poem is good. I think it's hard to see the coming storm when it comes to late. I also like how you formed it out as well.


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2009-11-02 06:03 PM


Fine writing...James
AncientHippie
Member
since 2009-10-15
Posts 411
Surfing the Cosmic Flow
12 posted 2009-11-03 01:48 PM


Ida:  At this age I cannot separate wisdom from experience.  Thank you.

Earth Angel:  It is difficult to teach people about the importance of being in the Now.  You, on the other hand, already Know.

Ken and James:  Thank you for your kind remarks.

Namaste all
Jim

"We are stardust:  we are golden:  and we've got to get ourselves back to the garden."  --Joni Mitchell "Woodstock"

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