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Open Poetry #45
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Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida

0 posted 2009-10-21 10:29 AM


Today is a birthday
I should be celebrating
but I am two people and
so is he.

The good
is always there;
proud.

The bad is always there;
in nightmares and the ruins
of whom I should have been.

Forgiveness isn’t something
that must be given
nor should it hurt anymore
to know
not everyone that is supposed
to protect you won't hurt you.

Today is his birthday
and I will play my part
wishing him good wishes
being the kind of person he never deserved


"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

© Copyright 2009 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved
AncientHippie
Member
since 2009-10-15
Posts 411
Surfing the Cosmic Flow
1 posted 2009-10-21 10:33 AM


Susan, this is a very sombre piece of art.  The darkness of the work sucks me into it like a dark hole of the soul.  It is amazing how social etiquette helps us tiptoe through the shards of nightmares.  Excellent read.
Go well.
Jim

Sutra 6: If your Path seems to be sprinkled with shards of glass, you should examine each shard to ensure it is not a diamond.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2009-10-21 10:37 AM


You have the needed inner strength to gracefully handle such scenes.
Poignant write, Susan.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
3 posted 2009-10-21 10:37 AM


I wish I didn't understand this...

We can't change others, only ourselves... and be the best we can be. You're doing that... and I applaud both poem and poet.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
4 posted 2009-10-21 11:52 AM


enjoyed your sharp edges and the gauze you have draped over them here..you actually win more battles this way..
Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
5 posted 2009-10-21 02:44 PM


KAPOW that ending is a stab! I love it.
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2009-10-21 05:37 PM


"not everyone that is supposed
to protect you won't hurt you."

isn't that the tuth~~


M...it's one of those kind of days for me

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
7 posted 2009-10-22 02:35 AM


Better all around to take a higher road, and knowing what little I do of you, would expect no less.
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
8 posted 2009-10-22 09:42 AM


Thank you so much all!

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
9 posted 2009-10-22 12:14 PM


being the kind of person he never deserved-

It kind of drives a stake through your heart each year when you go shopping for a birthday card, huh? Wish I couldn't relate. Good capture ~L


Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
10 posted 2009-10-31 03:02 AM


Susan,

When I read your poetry - I absorb it and sometimes it takes me days to come back to respond.  It's intense and I feel what you write.  I don't always identify - but I know you write life stories.  And you write them well.

Alison

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
11 posted 2009-10-31 12:29 PM


Susan, the following lines leapt out at me and grabbed me by the solar plexus ~

"not everyone that is supposed
to protect you won't hurt you."

I came to realize the truth of those words, as well...

"wishing him good wishes
being the kind of person he never deserved"

~ Which proves you are right! He didn't deserve you!


Linda

Guybrush Threepwood
New Member
since 2009-10-29
Posts 9

12 posted 2009-10-31 02:34 PM


"Forgive" in Greek means "to send away". It means we refuse to carry with us these abstract debts we put on people that color all of our interactions with them.

It's not about roughing it and continuing to smile despite what you feel; it's about really and truly forgiving that person no matter how hard that may be. Only then can there be any growth on either person's part.

Your poem is the saddest thing I think I've ever read, by the by.

tommy738
Junior Member
since 2009-10-28
Posts 33

13 posted 2009-10-31 03:52 PM


Very deep and I can unfortunatly understand it all to well great poem and I look foward to reading more.
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
14 posted 2009-10-31 04:34 PM


Now that I read your heavy, sad words I am caught up in them, because I recognize a situation to which I can relate.

quote:
Forgiveness isn’t something
that must be given


No it MUST not be given, but if it IS given, though it is not easy, the act of forgiveness will bring peace, the nightmares will stop and you will feel to be the way you are meant to be, free from past events that hurt you. In this way your acting as the person he never deserved will not be necessary, you will  be coherent and actually transform into the person YOU deserve to be, WHOLE and ready to let go.

It worked for me, I wish you peace.

Love,
Margherita


MorningStar
Member
since 2009-10-26
Posts 290
Pittsburgh, Pa
15 posted 2009-10-31 05:40 PM


This is really inspirational to me, especially at this time in my life.  

P.S. You know, showing kindness to those who hurt you is like "heaping hot coals" on their heads.  Personally, I can't think of a better present...

Aenea


If I don't say it...who will?

[This message has been edited by MorningStar (10-31-2009 07:22 PM).]

TriumphGirl
Junior Member
since 2009-10-31
Posts 13

16 posted 2009-10-31 07:07 PM


This is so sad and bittersweet.
Beautiful work.
You express so beautifully something I'm sure most of us feel as least once a year.


"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" ~ Plato

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105
Watertown, NY
17 posted 2009-10-31 07:44 PM


I Loved It. Beautiful!

There are places in the heart that do not yet exist; suffering has to enter in for them to come to be - LeonBloy

Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia
18 posted 2009-11-02 01:10 AM


This is sad Susan, there are those who play the being good role all the time and the others that just don't give and darn, be nice to find someone who appreciates you and respects who you are. I felt the meaning of your words and hope for better.

Take care, each day carries choices.

Rick

luminosity
Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813

19 posted 2009-11-02 11:00 AM


too bad so many of us can relate to sadness as this......you write it well....
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
20 posted 2009-11-02 11:17 AM


you always touch me


unboundpoetess
Member
since 2008-05-24
Posts 477

21 posted 2009-11-03 08:14 PM


I always enjoy reading you. You sting with elegance.

L,
H

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