The Boy and The Girl and The Trailer.

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viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

0 posted 2009-10-18 04:35 PM

I scribbled you red after midnight
and melted the wax with that heat I have
you told me it was foolish
I replied that I only wished to know myself in love
even if we were only playing pretend

You giggled then and opened your mouth
I counted the ridges on your tongue
and tasted the air inside your lungs

we set that foldout couch to flames
I loved to let it burn purple green and blue
but you told me we had to put it out
before anybody smelled smoke and yelled fire
I said nothing but figured if it were me
I'd be blessed to bask in the warmth of glow

_______________________________________
Bad Habits.

Paul

I love my dog, and my truck. It's that simple, really.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2009-10-18 07:14 PM

smiling at you
and the way you 'unfolded' this one

AncientHippie
Member

since 2009-10-15

Posts 411
Surfing the Cosmic Flow

2 posted 2009-10-19 08:23 AM

Thank you for this clever little piece, Paul. I like the way you have crafted it so that it could read two ways: either factual, or symbolic. I read the symbolic translation first, and enjoyed it at a different level than the factual. Well done.

Sutra 4: Do not expect your Path to be smooth. It will have rocks, slippery portions, and parts that are washed away completely. Persevere.

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

3 posted 2009-10-19 11:49 AM

Midnitenitenite, thank you. Smiling back.

AncientHippie, thanks very much. I am glad you enjoyed the reading, hope to talk to you more often.

I love my dog, and my truck. It's that simple, really.

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

4 posted 2009-10-20 12:20 PM

Your Bad Habits are so colorful that I color outside the lines when I read them.

A

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

5 posted 2009-10-20 12:35 PM

Now that was

and very clever.

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

6 posted 2009-10-20 12:50 PM

Alaboo... I can only give lines, glad somebody picked up the markers.

Mysteria... thank you for your generous response. Humble thanks!

I love my dog, and my truck. It's that simple, really.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

7 posted 2009-10-20 02:37 PM

I replied that I only wished to know myself in love
even if we were only playing pretend

Excellent write... I thoroughly enjoyed! *S*

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

8 posted 2009-10-20 02:45 PM

thanks my dear suthern friend. I have southern roots, you know.

I love my dog, and my truck. It's that simple, really.

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