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Open Poetry #45
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mommajao and the freckle eye boy
| Open Poetry #45 |
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mommajao and the freckle eye boy |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast 
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she said she was the 29 part of 43 I was just five shy of 20 myself at a carnival looking for treasures and she had cards and palms and secrets and a low cut bosom kind of gypsy shirt with cocoa brown shimmer skin that took my eyes down to heaven while she used my fingers on her tarot she touched my hip with her glances and said I was a gifted boy with assets and could break a heart or two in time or could be her healer if I had a mind to she told me about love and rivers flow how the shallows are always in a hurry to get no where special and they meander and are never deep enough to get all on ya and the deep ones are the slow love kind that take all of the time they need to just cover everything you ever minded and keep the good on top and swallow bad she put my hand between her breasts then and said can the boy man feel my heartbeat then she did the shh sound for her secrets so that only she and I would be the ones that ever knew she no longer even had one ______________ daark (of cajun wood) |
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AncientHippie Member
since 2009-10-15
Posts 411Surfing the Cosmic Flow |
Whoa! Dark Stranger. This is a dynamite piece of art. You can smell the musk, taste the darkness, hear the siren call of the carney. Brilliant work, for which, thank you. Sutra 2: Reflection is not solely that which we see in the mirror of Now, but is also the contemplation of why that image is. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
AH. Humble thanks for the review. |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Couldn't have said it better myself AH. Ds-Thanks for the cream in my coffee-mmm ~L |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
a pleasure to have your eyes ms LG |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Cool, my friend...loved the last line. j. |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Vey nicely written. Though, perhaps a tiny bit racy. Arana Darkwolf |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
JW, humble thanks amigo __________ Berger, thanks, racy? Hmmm ok sure. |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Perhaps I misinterpreted this particular part... "she put my hand between her breasts then and said can the boy man feel my heartbeat then she did the shh sound for her secrets so that only she and I would be the ones that ever knew she no longer even had one" Arana Darkwolf |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms berger...perhaps you did... it suggests the search for a heart and finding there was none..that is all.. |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
I see. I do apologize for the misunderstanding, Sir, and hope I have not offended. Arana Darkwolf |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
Ms berger, you are always a welcome reviewer lady friend no offense even imagined |
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martiniat8 Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic |
Wow, DS! This is a masterpiece, I think the best of yours I've ever read. Just, an hour I was composing a poem in my heart and mind, that mirrors your 4th and 5th stanzas here. It amazes me sometimes how we poets seemed linked in strange but wonderful ways. Thanks for the read, and keep a look out for mine, I will title it Slow River. beautiful piece, my friend. ~Brad "the author, the artist, is never more than 50% of the piece. The audience, AH, now there is the key. Never more, nor less, than 50% of me." [This message has been edited by martiniat8 (10-18-2009 04:14 PM).] |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
thanks so much Brad..there is indeed a global link to images...we all see the same ones at one time or another. Will check out your ink. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
she touched my hip with her glances and said I was a gifted boy with assets and could break a heart or two in time A future well foretold. *bratty grin* But seriously? *S* This is outstanding... one of your best! *S* |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
Ms Suthern. I did wonder if that bratty grin would appear. Am glad it did. Thanks for the read babe!! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Yup is one of your best for sure. What DS racy, neva!  |
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Indigo Senior Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 602 |
there where the road bends a traveler's heart won't rest when mystery calls. Indigo |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms myst...thanks so much lady friend.. ____________ ms indi vagabond heartbeat on rincon with saliva shiver sided sighing |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
DS Friend When I take my away time, I come back to your poetry. It draws me in to the images you create - and I smile and treasure the way the words flit around me. A |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms ali-san, thanks litle one...I appreciate your eyes |
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