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Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

0 posted 2009-10-14 06:48 PM


Don’t Read This Poem


Just let your eyes
Slip softly over
My smile
Play catch
The twinkle in my eye
Laugh your way
along my lines
Linger
Spend some time
With me
Let me touch you
Wherever
You please
Don’t Just
Read This Poem

[This message has been edited by Lori Grosser Rhoden (10-15-2009 07:29 AM).]

© Copyright 2009 Lori Grosser Rhoden - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2009-10-15 07:04 AM


Laugh you way


love the thought of your poem...perhaps you meant

laugh your way?


M

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
2 posted 2009-10-15 07:05 AM


ms LG..fun concept..don't suppose you wrote it on your skin?
martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic
3 posted 2009-10-15 07:11 AM


lol

why not?

I've written many of poems like these
why shouldn't they read them?

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
4 posted 2009-10-15 07:29 AM


nakdthoughts- bless your heart- good eye- gonna have to break down and buy Word my Works is killing me here. ~L

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
5 posted 2009-10-15 07:31 AM


D-I sweat ink~L
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
6 posted 2009-10-15 07:33 AM


martiniat8


Don’t JUST
Read This Poem  

Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana
7 posted 2009-10-15 08:11 AM


I disobeyed, and read this poem.
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
8 posted 2009-10-15 10:34 AM


thanks! now go back and do more than JUST read lol ~L
martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic
9 posted 2009-10-15 11:29 AM


ah, JUST! you should have put more emphasis on that word, so it stand out strong, like you showed me in all caps, I think I missed it or read it wrong, and leaving it out of the title made me miss it too. now it reads completely different. REALLY good
Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana
10 posted 2009-10-15 11:38 AM


Any suggestions besides JUST reading?
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
11 posted 2009-10-15 01:35 PM


C G-Use that sweet imagination you write from. You JUST read a news paper or phone book. You let me touch you (where ever you please) or you wouldn't have responded- thanks
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
12 posted 2009-10-15 01:37 PM


martiniat8
Glad you really liked it Thanks for "getting it" ~L

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
13 posted 2009-10-19 08:29 AM


LOL... I love this! *S*
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
14 posted 2009-10-19 05:19 PM


Thanks, *S*! ~L
Bob K
Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208

15 posted 2009-10-21 03:29 AM


  

Dear LGR,

          I thought you might enjoy this poem by Donald Justice.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/poem-4/

Your poem reminded me of it a bit.  I liked the playfulness and the sense of fun that I've seen in the two or three of your things I've happened upon so far, and the sense that you don't wander too far away from the theme that you're playing with.  The reasonable concreteness and avoidance of abstraction is something I prize as well.  Keep on going.

Best wishes, Bob Kaven

Bob K
Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208

16 posted 2009-10-21 03:31 AM




     I also wanted to say that you have a sense of ending, and that it seems clear that you work in that direction through the length of that poem, which gives more of a sense of unity than one usually finds here.  You should be very pleased.

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
17 posted 2009-10-21 07:34 AM


Lori,
I stopped to read this poem
the word DON"T invited me.
My eyes skipped across the lines,
and stopped to take in your smile.
I caught that twinkle in your eye
and sent a wink your way.

I laughed as I let you touch
as I'm ticklish you know.
I read the poem and stopped to say,
thank you for the fun sent my way.

latearrival



AncientHippie
Member
since 2009-10-15
Posts 411
Surfing the Cosmic Flow
18 posted 2009-10-21 09:05 AM


Lori, I held off reading this poem for days, out of respect for the title.  Finally, however, I had to peek.  What a vivid and sensitive work!  Thank you.
Jim

Sutra 6: If your Path seems to be sprinkled with shards of glass, you should examine each shard to ensure it is not a diamond.

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
19 posted 2009-10-21 06:04 PM


Bob K, latearrival and as always AncientHippie,I am blown away by your responses to my work. You have Sunshine to thank for me bringing it here.  Thank you all very, very much ~L
Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056
Kansas USA
20 posted 2009-10-28 11:10 PM


Practicing all sorts of civil disobedience here--so sue me, jail me whatever...I just read your poem and JUST got it.  I do enjoy your humor.

Sometimes, my friend, I think that you are the poet that I always wanted to be.

It's an honor and a pleasure to read your work.

Shenachie

MorningStar
Member
since 2009-10-26
Posts 290
Pittsburgh, Pa
21 posted 2009-10-28 11:18 PM


Oops.  I read it.  It couldn't help it - it's like tearing off the "Do Not Remove" tag on a pillow!  That's right I did it!  And I loved every minute of it!  

Aenea

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
22 posted 2009-10-29 08:43 AM


Shenachie-it is you who is the Poet of organized disipline and knowlege I always wanted to be~L
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