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Open Poetry #45
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N|D|N|C|Lost-Poet
Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 360
New Orleans

0 posted 2009-10-14 05:03 PM


I felt it coming,
As did the flocks of birds,
They took off as a warning,

I went to dig me a hole,
Didn't have a shovel,
I went to build me a moat,
Couldn't find water,
I went to build me a bridge,
Couldn't find a river,

So I built me a wall,
Used the pieces of my heart,
It lay scattered across the ground,
Like a broken vase,

Like roses,
They are to forever be,
In beautiful poses,

Along my wall, I wrote me a poem,

Spoke from my soul, that poem,

It said some things I'm not proud of,
So I broke that wall,
In a rage,

I went to build me a mountain,
Couldn't find any rocks,
I went to plant me a forest,
Could only find grass,

So I made me a field.

In that field I wrote me a poem,
In that poem, I wrote from my soul,
The clouds came,
Washed it all away,

So I took me a walk,
Such a long walk,
I went barefoot,
To prove a point,


© Copyright 2009 Zachariah Gavia-Peyton - All Rights Reserved
GBride
Senior Member
since 2009-07-02
Posts 538

1 posted 2009-10-15 07:19 PM


I really like this one!!!
Lost Poet, I really like your work.
As David Copperfield said, "More please."

AncientHippie
Member
since 2009-10-15
Posts 411
Surfing the Cosmic Flow
2 posted 2009-10-16 11:09 AM


Hey, Lost.  I love the way you encapsulate the Quest that we poets endure/nourish/hate/love/suffer.  Great read, and much appreciated.  As Oliver Twist said, "More, please."

Sutra 93: Do not speak to me of Reality: it is a personal concept that varies with the Observer.
--Jim's Guide to Enlightenment:  The Complete Sutras

dragngrl28
Junior Member
since 2009-10-12
Posts 45
Texas, USA
3 posted 2009-10-16 11:32 AM


Enjoyed. To me it seems as though you are using nature in the poem to compare the creation of poetry to a natural event.


It said some things I'm not proud of,
So I broke that wall,
In a rage,

I relate to these lines the most. They remind me of when I re-read some of my older stuff and I just tear up the pages.

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
4 posted 2009-10-16 12:03 PM


lovely write, a very enjoyable and imaged read.

regards

yann

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
5 posted 2009-10-18 02:17 AM


When I was reading this, I could hear a cajun rhythm and then I saw you are from New Orleans.  No wonder.  This is one of my favortie poems ever.

Alison

N|D|N|C|Lost-Poet
Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 360
New Orleans
6 posted 2009-10-18 02:41 AM


Thank you everyone

You guys are great.

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