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Open Poetry #45
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N|D|N|C|Lost-Poet
Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 360
New Orleans

0 posted 2009-10-13 03:38 AM


Suppose I drew you a map
Trust it enough to find your way?
Suppose I gave you a compass
Would you follow it whichever way?

I wrote you a love poem the other day
Folded it into a boat and sent it down stream
It said something about something then about the gleam
In your eye

Suppose that's all I really remember
You wouldn't dare cry
Would you?
Suppose I left you in the month of May

Would you be there by September?

I've seen trees grow old,
Towers fall,
Watched men-at-arms stand tall,
Observed -Kings- being told,
I've written on scripture of the ancients,
Spoken to the wise men of which no wise men has come since,
Read a blank book and learned the meaning of life,
Kept it all to myself for centuries to come,
Worked a lifetime to rule a Kingdom,
Just to throw it all away for a tiny silver knife,

Suppose I wrote you a book, three words, took me a half a life time.

Suppose you believed me thus far on my ventures.

Suppose you held the slightest bit of trust in me.


....Suppose you knew I existed.

Then suppose that the captures of lovers first kiss, lovers first grasp, would all be listed.

We'll see.



"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." Oscar Wilde

© Copyright 2009 Zachariah Gavia-Peyton - All Rights Reserved
martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic
1 posted 2009-10-13 03:44 AM


Wow,
somebody
some day
will know

and all they will be able
to say

is wow,

in the truest
and best of ways

dragngrl28
Junior Member
since 2009-10-12
Posts 45
Texas, USA
2 posted 2009-10-13 08:36 PM


Interesting

Are you speaking of a love that was immature and ended but then one person matured and was thinking back on it?
That was my impression but the line about 'Suppose you knew I existed' doesn't fit with it.

Enjoyed reading the poem and thought that this part was exceptional:

I've seen trees grow old,
Towers fall,
Watched men-at-arms stand tall,
Observed -Kings- being told,
I've written on scripture of the ancients,
Spoken to the wise men of which no wise men has come since,
Read a blank book and learned the meaning of life,
Kept it all to myself for centuries to come,
Worked a lifetime to rule a Kingdom,
Just to throw it all away for a tiny silver knife,

This part seems to speed up the pace of the poem and then the poem slows tempo again.

GBride
Senior Member
since 2009-07-02
Posts 538

3 posted 2009-10-16 02:05 AM


You have a superb talent.
I'd love to give you advice but Oscar Wilde said he always passed on advice he didn't know what else to do with it.
I don't remember much of romantic love, it's more fatherly and grandfatherly now. And we have two great grandchildren now.
My wife and I are great old friends but no longer lovers in the conventional sense. We grew up together and lived 1.5 miles from each other. Our parents were friends.
So, you see, I've never experienced the unrequited love so many of you write about.
The closest I've come is one of our children died. That was a tragic loss.
Love your write Lost Poet.
Say, if you can draw a map, how can you be lost?

N|D|N|C|Lost-Poet
Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 360
New Orleans
4 posted 2009-10-16 02:08 AM


Its one thing to draw a map, its another to follow it.

Thank you for all of your kind words


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