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Open Poetry #45
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martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic

0 posted 2009-10-13 12:57 PM



She comes to my bed
and
I slip between her sighs

blues
blush
to rouge

and all is seen green
with heavy HEAVE-ing
we're both...

eye to eye

© Copyright 2009 Kenneth Bradley Smith - All Rights Reserved
brneyedgrly
Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125
nowhere and everywhere
1 posted 2009-10-13 01:02 AM



whew

this is nice




martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic
2 posted 2009-10-13 01:04 AM


dang! I meant brown, BROWN!!! ;-)
brneyedgrly
Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125
nowhere and everywhere
3 posted 2009-10-13 01:06 AM



hehe

too late




Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
4 posted 2009-10-13 12:21 PM


"Love is a verb; It makes things grow!"
             Mary Englebreit

I always thought if love were a color it would be green. Your poem positively blossoms!


2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
5 posted 2009-10-13 01:18 PM


i like the few words and the entire description of a night commitment, this is sober and powerful, a very well expressed write. THANKS FOR THE POEM;

YANN

dragngrl28
Junior Member
since 2009-10-12
Posts 45
Texas, USA
6 posted 2009-10-13 03:55 PM


like the use of colors and the way the poem is seperated. Personally, I would have preferred something like breathing instead of heave-ing only because of the mind image. I think the poem had just the right amount of erotic so that the poem is sensual and not trashy.
martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic
7 posted 2009-10-13 04:20 PM


thanks drgngrl, actually you're right on point, i have been debating from the start between heaving and breathing. I'm going to send it to a girl, and may go with breathing, haven't decided yet

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