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BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2009-10-02 12:31 PM



Remembering you
at the stroke of Autumn embers
fanning campfire flames
that went up in smoke.

Seems a long time ago
when you held me close
sheltered from the storms
that blew in from all directions.

The aftermath is telling
like a far cry
echoes through the mountain pass
on a wing and prayer
ruffling the wind,
that mingles with the scent of pine
and senseless pining.

Like a spindrift
makes me shiver
when the moon lies low
behind a blanket of clouds
breaking my defenses down
the night sky wavers
starless in my dreams.


© Copyright 2009 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2009-10-02 04:43 PM


quote:
The aftermath is telling
like a far cry
echoes through the mountain pass
on a wing and prayer
ruffling the wind,
that mingles with the scent of pine
and senseless pining.



How perfectly you render this memory, this melancholy, dear Lori.

A profoundly beautiful write.

Love,
Margherita

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
2 posted 2009-10-02 06:12 PM


Seems a long time ago
when you held me close
sheltered from the storms
that blew in from all directions.


I can relate to this, Lori.  Autumn is beginning here with only a slight chill in the air, but it is  refreshing for the moment~~


M

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
3 posted 2009-10-02 07:02 PM


Margherita~  You are always so nice in your replies
and I appreciate them and you very much.

Hi Maureen~  Funny you should pick out those lines.  
Briefly and fleeting also came to mind,
like the best times in our lives, they are short lived,
but those glorious moments are very special, indeed.
So happy to see you here, thanks and hugs.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
4 posted 2009-10-03 01:33 PM


"Seems a long time ago
when you held me close
sheltered from the storms
that blew in from all directions."

~ and it is memories like those that can keep us warm when the cool winds of autumn begin to blow...

Love your poetry! ~ and you!

Linda

brneyedgrly
Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125
nowhere and everywhere
5 posted 2009-10-03 01:36 PM



blues

this is my favorite of yours

I love every single line

          

always love to read you

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
6 posted 2009-10-03 03:49 PM


Hi Bluesy!  Sometimes remembering isn't such a good thing but in your case it is because it produces such touching poetry.  "Senseless pining" - yes, of course it is but it's only the mind that knows it not the heart and the heart, you know, has a (here it comes) mind of its own!  
Hugs
Helen

unboundpoetess
Member
since 2008-05-24
Posts 477

7 posted 2009-10-03 06:32 PM


wow

You are a stunner. Incredibly lovely write.
L,
H

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
8 posted 2009-10-04 11:06 AM


Thank you ladies, for your encouraging words. Your kind replies make my poetic efforts worthwhile.  
And it is an effort, I am not one who's poetry comes easy.  It's all there in my heart but getting it
down on the page is another thing entirely.

Many hugs this Sunday mornin'~

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
9 posted 2009-10-04 12:35 PM


Seems a long time ago
when you held me close
sheltered from the storms
that blew in from all directions.

And even when it seems like (or is *S*) a lifetime ago... the memories still visit vividly... though few leave poems this beautiful. *S*

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
10 posted 2009-10-04 02:20 PM


Beautiful, Beautiful, and beautiful!


ARCTIC WIND

playing.with.crayons
Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362
Neverland
11 posted 2009-10-05 10:02 AM


"Like a spindrift
makes me shiver
when the moon lies low
behind a blanket of clouds"

loved this write.

~Cheye

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
12 posted 2009-10-06 06:47 PM


Thanks for the nice replies, Suthern, AW, and Cheye~

You add a little something special to my day, and I am truly flattered.


inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
13 posted 2009-10-08 09:34 PM


you are never far from starless
you just conjure it up along with your
fabulous moons and the stars will shine on
loved your sky here blondie

Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
14 posted 2009-10-09 12:54 PM


How solitary this feels with vulnerability crowding every thought.  

It is beautifully poignant, and the imagery is decidedly cool and longing for the arms that have gone missing in the distance or time.

~KL

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
15 posted 2009-10-09 12:19 PM


So great to see two of my favorite people here.
You warm my heart with your sweet replies.  Thank you blondielocks and Lassy~

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
16 posted 2009-10-20 02:43 AM


This conveys such vivid images for me, well done!

"A spring shower was cause to run
Until you twirled me in the rain" ~ BDC

AncientHippie
Member
since 2009-10-15
Posts 411
Surfing the Cosmic Flow
17 posted 2009-10-20 10:07 AM


Such a bitter-sweet piece, BluesSerenade.  So appropriate for this time of year.  The smoke from campfires carry memories for most of us, and you have captured the moment with clarity and beauty.  Thank you.

Sutra 5: Public self-criticism does not brighten one’s Spark of Brahman: it merely feeds one’s narcissism.
Jim's Guide to Enlightenment:  The Comple

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