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Open Poetry #45
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larzana
Member
since 2009-09-17
Posts 55


0 posted 2009-09-19 12:17 PM


If love is blind, and ignorance is bliss, then how am I aware that I feel so despaired?
If I can’t see the light, and I don’t know the truth, how do I know that I shouldn’t love you?
The me you see isn’t really me, as the me I know isn’t what we’d all like it to be.
The reason I gather through the blissful dark of my wake, is what I’d like to give you, you just will not take.



© Copyright 2009 larzana - All Rights Reserved
Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
1 posted 2009-09-19 12:22 PM


Larzana... I enjoyed this very much.. my only constructive critique if I may would be to set it out in stanzas.. it would read better.. but no matter if you don't, I still enjoyed it

Bisous de Paris
RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

larzana
Member
since 2009-09-17
Posts 55

2 posted 2009-09-19 12:25 PM


Thank you. I'm not completely sure I understand what you mean...is this right?

If love is blind, and ignorance is bliss,
then how am I aware that I feel so despaired?
If I can’t see the light, and I don’t know the truth,
how do I know that I shouldn’t love you?
The me you see isn’t really me,
as the me I know isn’t what we’d all like it to be.
The reason I gather through the blissful dark of my wake,
is what I’d like to give you, you just will not take.

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
3 posted 2009-09-19 12:31 PM


If love is blind
and ignorance is bliss
then how am I aware
that I feel so despaired

If I can’t see the light
and I don’t know the truth
how do I know
that I shouldn’t love you

The me you see
isn’t really me
as the me I know
isn’t what we’d all like it to be.

The reason I gather
through the blissful dark of my wake
is what I’d like to give you
you just will not take


Here, this is what I mean.. of course it is your preference on how you present your beautiful work.. I look forward to reading much more of you

Bisous de Paris
RDB xx

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
4 posted 2009-09-19 01:05 PM


Welcome To Pip!!!!


ARCTIC WIND

larzana
Member
since 2009-09-17
Posts 55

5 posted 2009-09-19 01:22 PM


Oh wow, that does look alot better! Thanks!
Everyone here is so nice. I feel welcome.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2009-09-19 05:21 PM


Welcome to PiP, Larzana.

Please check your email for a
Very Special Greeting!

" It matters not this distance now  " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
7 posted 2009-09-19 06:46 PM


welcome to passions enjoyed
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
8 posted 2009-09-20 12:17 PM


Hi Larzana,

Welcome to PiP.  It's going to be fun to read more of your poetry.

Have fun and just enjoy your time here.

Alison

anniepimm54
Member
since 2009-09-03
Posts 110

9 posted 2009-09-20 11:29 AM


Welcome to PiP, Larzana.
Loved the poem and everyone here is always so lovely and helpful
Annie

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
10 posted 2009-09-20 01:45 PM


A Big Welcome Hug~

A Very insightful and truthful poem!

~ARH

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