Open Poetry #45 |
Teeth. |
viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
I wound my string theory around your ankles making bracelets weighing you down with my memory scratching at each tendon just to stay on your mind I imagined that strong face of yours spread it apart and made a flower with one of your eyes on every petal, unblinking and perfectly brown You laughed and I made the sounds into words telling me that you knew all about my gentle smile how I bottled it and saved it for you I had nothing to say to that. ____________________________________ Bad Habits. (series) Paul I love my dog, and my truck. It's that simple, really. |
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© Copyright 2009 Paul Weisbrod - All Rights Reserved | |||
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
This is interesting. I particularly got lost in the thought of a flower with a brown eye on each petal. How disconcerting to have staring at you! I really liked the string analogy too. I think this is good because it does make me stop and ... imagine what you have described and then consider the depth of feeling that could be behind the poem. I like it. A |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
I like your replies, alaboo. Thanks for reading, I'm glad you liked it. I love my dog, and my truck. It's that simple, really. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Gosh, what a thought "the string theory around her ankles"! Hey, Picasso might be jealous, be careful where you put those eyes ... A pleasure to read for its uniqueness. Love, Margherita |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
sweet, Paul.. I like when you write about girls.. hope that brown eyed girl likes your jeep |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
James... thanks. Margopargo... Thanks. I'll be sure to stay out of Picasso's way. Browneyes... She told me she did. She drove me from one end of the parking lot to the other once, and saw it. haha. I love my dog, and my truck. It's that simple, really. |
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