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Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

0 posted 2009-09-10 07:29 PM

This I my first time posting in this forum.

Happy to hear some feedback. Sorry about the improper punctuations.

________________________________________
Have you ever felt the rain
Drip down like heavens tear
Watch it glitter in the light
The beauty of the world appears

Admire the many hues dance
Across the blades of grass
Precious moments forever caught
As the minute-hand pass

Have you felt the vibrations
Of laughter shake your soul
The sound of it ringing
The feeling filling you whole

Have you ever stand on the edge
Took a breath and take a leap
The wind rocking you with ease
Into a subtle, gentle sleep

Have you ever wished
To have an endless night
Cherish the moments a tad longer
Bathing in the pale moonlight

Have you ever felt the way
I do. Seeing beauty in simplicity
To feel at peace for once
Despite how the world's faulty

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

1 posted 2009-09-10 07:34 PM

Well welcome to Open Poetry! ~ A wonderful place to express loving thoughts and beautiful imagery. Also, the dark poetry that looms over ones head.

I really like the light in your poem. Very upbeat and wonderful

ARCTIC WIND

Suncleaver
Member

since 2009-01-18

Posts 481
Stafford England

2 posted 2009-09-12 06:11 AM

Hey Zach.

Loved the light and hope in this poem.

ps. stop spamming my messenger with fake pictures of me. :p

You'd recognise me if you saw me. Six foot, military hair, over 200 pounds (<3 the weight training), and heavily tattooed and pierced. Oh... and don't forget the leather trousers. :p

'Wailing voices on the wind, urging me to turn. Distant tortured screams. Cold blue fires burn'.

brneyedgrly
Senior Member

since 2009-06-08

Posts 1125
nowhere and everywhere

3 posted 2009-09-12 10:50 AM

very nice debut

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

4 posted 2009-09-13 10:52 AM

Thanks everyone for your comments.

And Luke? How did you know I was spamming? :P
I thought I was undetectable. LOL. Gotta work on that I guess.

-Zach

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

5 posted 2009-09-13 04:39 PM

Zach,

You have come such a long way since I first started reading your poetry. I think that's when you first joined PiP. Man, you have grown as a person and a poet.

I love this.

xoxoxo
Alison

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

6 posted 2009-09-15 03:05 PM

Haha thanks Alison.
*phew* good thing I improved in the time I've been here at least. Hahaha.

-Zach

MorningStar
Member

since 2009-10-26

Posts 290
Pittsburgh, Pa

7 posted 2009-10-27 03:09 PM

Really beautifully written. & If it's not too mushy, I'd say - charming. Thank you for sharing this piece.

martiniat8
Senior Member

since 2003-06-21

Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic

8 posted 2009-10-27 03:36 PM

I just had
a 2 hour bath,
lit by candle light,
so yes, my friend, I do.

wonderful poem, rich with vision and feeling. Well done!

naturegirl
Member

since 2009-09-30

Posts 168
England

9 posted 2009-10-27 08:05 PM

Hi, I really liked your poem you described the way that time seems to stop when you see something beautiful, perfectly.

threadbear
Senior Member

since 2008-07-10

Posts 817
Indy

10 posted 2009-10-28 12:41 PM

Well done alt-poetry, F.Rain!
even a teardrop
caught in a spiders web
has beauty
when caught in morning light.

t.bear

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

11 posted 2009-10-29 09:34 AM

Have you ever wished
To have an endless night
Cherish the moments a tad longer
Bathing in the pale moonlight

Oh, yes. *S*

Beautiful write, Zach... welcome to Open! *S*

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

12 posted 2009-10-29 10:01 AM

Very nice work. Keep on. You are really blossoming. latearrival

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

13 posted 2010-01-23 12:53 PM

Thank you everyone!

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

14 posted 2010-10-22 05:36 AM

The simplicity of the pictures your words paint is awe-inspiring.
We often forget to stop and see the beauty in life. Enjoyed this.

-Trina.

"To decieve ones self, is truly a grueling battle. One which we're destined to lose."

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