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Open Poetry #45
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new poet needs help
| Open Poetry #45 |
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new poet needs help |
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plumdumb New Member
since 2009-09-04
Posts 2 |
Why do I feel so different Why am I all alone Isn’t there somebody in the world for me What does it take to find the one Why can’t I make you love me Why can’t I make you see That I am all you will ever need But you won’t even notice me Day by day Hour by hour You are all I think about When I dream at night I dream you are in my arms Why can’t I make you love me Why can’t I make you see That I am all you will ever need But you won’t even notice me As you go from guy to guy I am always there But you won’t let me in You keep me on the outside Why can’t I make you love me Why can’t I make you see That I am all you will ever need But you won’t even notice me Why can’t I live without you Why must I love you How come you won’t love me too And why can’t I just leave you Why can’t I make you love me Why can’t I make you see That I am all you will ever need But you won’t even notice me |
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| © Copyright 2009 plumdumb - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Hello plumbdumb, welcome to Pip! This sounds like a nice song of unrequited love. The repetition strengthens the feeling of despair. Love, Margherita |
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howardtsu Senior Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 678 |
i'm pretty inexperienced on this type of subject matter  but it seems pretty good to me |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Welcome to PIP Plumbdumb, perhaps you are trying to hard, but there again there are plenty more fish in the sea. Dont lose hope and good luck. Lindsay |
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plumdumb New Member
since 2009-09-04
Posts 2 |
thanks for the comments here is a revised version What does it take to find the one? Who is as pure as the morning sun? You move with such grace You set my heart a ’race Why can’t you love me Why can’t you see All you will ever need is me But you don’t even notice me Skin that has been kissed by the sun So satiny smooth it glows when the day is done Your hair with its russet colored hue Glistens as thought covered in dew Why can’t you love me Why can’t you see All you will ever need is me But you don’t even notice me As you go from guy to guy I can’t help but wonder why You know in me you can confide Yet you keep me on the outside Why can’t you love me Why can’t you see All you will ever need is me But you won’t even notice me With eyes as green as the sea That always sparkle with glee Your laugh is gentle as falling rain When you do it erases all my pain Why can’t you love me Why can’t you see All you will ever need is me But you won’t even notice me Unable to live without you All of the little things that you do The quiet, shy smile that shows And the way you twitch you nose Why can’t you love me Why can’t you see All you will ever need is me But you won’t even notice |
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