»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #45
»
Faster Circles
| Open Poetry #45 |
|
Faster Circles |
|
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
|
"I wanna ride, Clyde" she said, in gather of herself.. she tweaked the mini edges of her lycra sin we'll call a skirt a measure of discreet, too late to cover up the holes and runs-- as she'd left the club, she'd torn the second skin her legs had worn with the rhinestones up the back... She glared and flicked her bic as if she wanted more than cigarette without expressing her regrets she shrugged and said: "Forgot to ask..." before she gazed goodbye. Her driver turned the meter on tick-tick-ticking as he won the middle lane of preference and edged a Lexus out of it with one sharp left and no regrets he asked her "For how long?" "Leave the meter on," she said. "I just wanna ride." "Any place particular?" "The Brooklyn Bridge." she finally laughed. "Oh, but that's a lover's curse." She exhaled smoke, as she replied: "I do know your name's not Clyde-- but I just wanna ride," she said, "just like you must want to drive the faster circles people pace as they complicate their lives with spirographs and obstinance -" "Lady, I just want to drive," he slammed the brakes at the redlight. "I'm not your damned psychologist." He watched her flick her cigarette out of the window to their right bouncing off the same Lexus that they'd passed with carelessness six blocks ago in record time. She looked up, he met her eyes-- he ran the light and they both smiled: The driver took her for a ride, emptying his tank. |
||
| © Copyright 2009 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
sure have missed you... perhaps a spanking is in order to keep you here? enjoyed you ms!! |
||
|
latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
A story behind this? love ya, jo |
||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
This is fantastic, K. Enjoyed the tank-emptying ride and all the in-between moments. |
||
|
Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
Immensely talented writing here Karen. You have the ability to take us on a journey in the mind with your words. I enjoyed the melancholy feel to this one too. |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks.  And um, Jo? It's not quite a true story, but it is my metaphorical take on the economy. (For you, I'll talk. *grin*) We've got two working people, feeling rather demoralized (my working girl metaphor made me grin snarky too) and that Lexus is important, because it symbolizes success and prestige and all the goodies of life. Even the torn rhinestone stockings were placed on my working girl deliberately in order to convey her attempt to portray herself as a 'classier product'. The meter ticking was my metaphor for the "time is money" cliche'. The sexual innuendo was also there, to combine the metaphor of our lust for oil, as well as to ascribe the ways we distract ourselves from ourselves. And DS? Y'see why I don't write much anymore? I don't need a spanking. I need a lobotomy. Even when I try to not think, the damned thing just keeps goin'.  I love and miss you all.  |
||
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Yep, I really like this. A |
||
|
Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Thats totally true. You have a gift to bring us through the adventure that is your mind!  , through rainy day thinking to reflective pondering. Love itARCTIC WIND |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I apologize if my tone in my reply was ingracious. I've just been obsessing about this idea, and I may put it on the back burner to try it as a short story. I dunno, but I figure if I have more to say, then maybe I should should say it that way instead of lazily tapping out a poem. I'm tired. I got the flu. Thanks guys and gals, as always, I appreciate your generosity and faith in me. |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
She looked up, he met her eyes-- he ran the light and they both smiled: The driver took her for a ride, emptying his tank. And you took us along for every mile. *S* |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Not every mile....popping in to say thank you, and I love you all much. Ruth? ((((((((squeeze))))))))) and shrug..Faster Circles? I almost named it doughnutz. *chuckle* |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
