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Open Poetry #45
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Bloodline
Member
since 2009-05-23
Posts 236
Oklahoma

0 posted 2009-08-23 11:31 AM





Starts low, like some strange language out of rhyme.
A sensation impossible to feel.
The mind wonders if that faintest sound is real.
Whistle blows, yet still so far away I’m
Unsure, perhaps something carried on the wind.
There it is again! Closer. Moments bend,
Surreal, silence screams in a loop of time.
My breath is labored and my sense seems ill.
Louder now, just off the horizon edge,
Out of sight. My heart stops and starts between
Each ebb and flow of warning blast unseen.
I have to look, transfixed on panic ledge!
Nothing can stop it now so I stand calm,
Deafening wheels invoke an unsung psalm.

© Copyright 2009 granville - All Rights Reserved
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
1 posted 2009-08-23 01:25 PM


You even had my own heart starting and stopping "between
Each ebb and flow of warning blast unseen."

~ A fantastic write! Very vivid! VERY VIVED!!!


EA

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
2 posted 2009-08-23 03:21 PM


something about the train whistling through
the town on a summer night and all the intrique and wonder you have captured

Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586
Oklahoma USA
3 posted 2009-08-23 03:52 PM


You brought back memories with this one. We use to live right next to a railroad track, when I was a kid. My brother brought the hobos home for mom to feed. LOL!
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
4 posted 2009-08-23 08:27 PM


I Enjoyed the picture-perfect poem! ~ Lovely and very vivid indeed.


ARCTIC WIND

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
5 posted 2009-08-26 04:06 PM


quote:
Nothing can stop it now so I stand calm,
Deafening wheels invoke an unsung psalm.



Incredibly impressive. Gorgeous write, dear Bloodline.

Me too know of this sound!

Love,
Margherita

Heart2Heart
Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738
Scotland/Norway
6 posted 2009-08-26 05:11 PM


A wonderful poem with deep metaphors to understand with great humbleness.
Katriona

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