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Yoinn
Senior Member

since 2007-08-16

Posts 649
Michigan

0 posted 2009-08-15 11:52 AM

Night Walk

moon looks at me
silver gaze judging

streetlamps winking
unsure of their relativity

headlights illuminating
lives in route to no where.

locked store fronts
mock my pockets of
lint and pennies.

the earth just moans
tired under
my lonely feet.

blood puddles
in shoes
when no one watches

night time walk
rain wipes clean
my red path of failure.

rad802
Member

since 2008-04-19

Posts 279
KY U.S.A.

1 posted 2009-08-15 02:28 PM

We do not always choose our path.
May your future choices be brilliant ones.

A worthy legacy is the irrevocable consequence of dreaming.
Rick A. Delmonico

Yoinn
Senior Member

since 2007-08-16

Posts 649
Michigan

2 posted 2009-08-15 10:59 PM

did you like the poem?
Yoin

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2009-08-18 06:36 PM

Fine writing...James

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

4 posted 2009-08-19 01:37 AM

Loved the poem!

Made me feel as if I were there,
walking down that street at night!

~ARH

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

5 posted 2009-08-19 03:07 AM

Hello Yoinn this is upsetting.

take care

yann

Yoinn
Senior Member

since 2007-08-16

Posts 649
Michigan

6 posted 2009-08-19 09:38 PM

thanks james

Yoinn
Senior Member

since 2007-08-16

Posts 649
Michigan

7 posted 2009-08-19 09:40 PM

Thanks ARH. If i see ya I will wave

Yoin

Yoinn
Senior Member

since 2007-08-16

Posts 649
Michigan

8 posted 2009-08-19 09:40 PM

Sorry Yann,
Didn't mean to upset ya. Its just my style dude. Ya Know what i mean?

Yoin

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

9 posted 2009-08-22 02:10 AM

Dang. Your poetry is making me sad now too. Good stuff, but I may have to buy Kleenex tomorrow before reading more.

A

crosscountry83
Member

since 2009-07-30

Posts 345

10 posted 2009-08-23 08:35 PM

This is upsetting. I know its how you write, but I hope all is well. when you say "the earth just moans" I would take out the just... But it sounds amazing either way. I look forward to reading more.

Rileigh

stacylynn418
Junior Member

since 2009-03-06

Posts 40
new york

11 posted 2009-08-23 10:36 PM

sometimes upsetting poems are the most powerful.
i really enjoyed this, great job :]

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

12 posted 2009-08-26 04:03 PM

Powerful, one of my favorites of yours.

Love,
Margherita

Writ_Upon_Emotion
Junior Member

since 2009-08-26

Posts 13
Manchester, England

13 posted 2009-08-26 04:07 PM

I find the best poetry often pulls a sense a of deep emotion.

Good write Yoin.

x

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