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Open Poetry #45
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martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic

0 posted 2009-08-14 02:07 AM



Was it me
or her
combustibility

Things seemed
to be moving
right along

being close
sharing
beginning to open

and suddenly
unexpectedly
the walls go up

she withdraws
after some distance
what was closing

is now a chasm
she won't speak
hiding behind lines

in distant
chilled
robotic sentences

maintaining a distance
in her vocabulary vernacular
as if my feelings were a string litany of facts


© Copyright 2009 Kenneth Bradley Smith - All Rights Reserved
Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
1 posted 2009-08-14 10:43 PM


Interesting poem.  Maybe the 'wall' is her way of putting out a billboard that she is simply not interested.

Alison

martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic
2 posted 2009-08-15 12:39 PM


do most women ask you to sit by them at the pool and read them your poetry if they aren't interested?
Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
3 posted 2009-08-15 04:09 AM


I don't know.  As a woman, it's not something I ever considered doing or have had asked of me.

My comment was directed to your poem, not your love life - unless they are one and the same.

A

martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic
4 posted 2009-08-15 05:43 AM


they are
Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
5 posted 2009-08-15 09:24 AM


Okay, sometimes mine aren't so I don't assume that everyone's is about them.  I can see my original comment could get your back up.  I am sorry.  However, I am happy that I feel that kind of response from your poetry.  It shows it got to me.  That's a good thing, right?

I read your words.  I react to a feeling that they give me.  And I think - I enjoy your poetry.

Have a good one - and good luck.

A

martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic
6 posted 2009-08-15 10:49 AM


Thanks, I think thats probably the best compliment or comment one could ask for
Yoinn
Senior Member
since 2007-08-16
Posts 649
Michigan
7 posted 2009-08-15 11:16 AM


Hey I enjoyed this one Brad. A age ole question men have been asking for years "what did i do?" If you figure it out..email me the answer maybe it will help me too. you wrote this one well.

Yoin

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