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Open Poetry #45
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Yoinn
Senior Member
since 2007-08-16
Posts 649
Michigan

0 posted 2009-08-10 03:53 PM



raindrops

raindrops race
each other down the window.
tears, down my face.

memories like
crashed cars on a icy road,
pile up in my head.

love,
nothing but bitter
in my mouth.

time stares back at me
like a bare,
bug stained light bulb.

seasons change themselves
but nothing else,
or anyone else.

raindrops flow
like lonely tears
down my window.

Yoin

© Copyright 2009 Tim W. - All Rights Reserved
brneyedgrly
Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125
nowhere and everywhere
1 posted 2009-08-10 09:54 PM



memories like
crashed cars on a icy road,
pile up in my head.

love,
nothing but bitter
in my mouth.
___________________________

I love your descriptions!

and anything written about raindrops  

very good

berney

.

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
2 posted 2009-08-11 05:11 AM


Hello Yoinn, the atmosphere of the poem is stupendous, the description of emotions is vivid and call deeply the reader, you are so well inspired..keep on the good work.

have  a nice day

yann

amk377
Member
since 2009-08-11
Posts 58
South Carolina
3 posted 2009-08-11 07:32 AM


Wow...this is very deep and touches to the core! Your emotions jump off the page...bleed off even. Excellent!!!

"we have but a moment...only one moment"

Yoinn
Senior Member
since 2007-08-16
Posts 649
Michigan
4 posted 2009-08-11 07:47 PM


Thanks Berney,

We had quite a rain here in michigan over the weekend...those drops on the window stirred my pen awake.

Yoin

Yoinn
Senior Member
since 2007-08-16
Posts 649
Michigan
5 posted 2009-08-11 07:48 PM


Thanks Yann

With all the nice people who respond to my poems I will keep writing for sure.

Yoin

Yoinn
Senior Member
since 2007-08-16
Posts 649
Michigan
6 posted 2009-08-11 07:49 PM


Thanks amk

Nice to meet you and glad you liked this one.

Yoin

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