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Open Poetry #45
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Incadescent Smokey Sky (Terzanelle from the PW)
| Open Poetry #45 |
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Incadescent Smokey Sky (Terzanelle from the PW) |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! 
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That incandescent smoky sky So red it makes the moon these nights As if it bleeds when ashes fly The winds will tease the flames to heights And bully trees to bend at will So red it makes the moon these nights The fires lay down; the frenzy stills Then cravings surge to burn the day And bully trees to bend at will Again the sparks fly high in play To dance among the branches dry Then cravings surge to burn the day Not caring that some trees will die A need is sated as it burns To dance among the branches dry That incandescent smoky sky The haze will cover brilliant blue As if it bleeds when ashes fly And crimson red now hides the moon - Alison |
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| © Copyright 2009 Alison - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Oh, dear Alison, you have rendered this terrible scenery so powerfully that I can feel the heat and the smoke and the trees' agony and even the moon's perplexity (full today and wanting to share its light ...). Beautifully versed. Love, Margherita  |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
this imagery (and the entire powerful 'write') are most fine! MUCH (long-sustained) applause for this superb 'penning' !! |
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XGarapanX Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435Antarctica |
Brilliant writing indeed! ·´~`·»Brett«·´~`· |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
This is very realistic and hits close to home, Alison. Our wildfires are just begining (two in the last week) and I expect much worse before October. Ida |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Impressive Terzanelle, dear Alison! ~ You vividly captured the fury ~ and the terror ~ of a forest fire. A compelling read! Very well done!   Linda |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear Alison, That sounds scary. We don't have that trouble here in the hood. There's not that many trees. Of course we're God's people here too, so nothing like that happens. Love Bobby |
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Heart2Heart Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738Scotland/Norway |
A sort of vilanelle this I presume, very vividly and beautifully written, well done Alison. Heart2Heart  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
There is something about a Terzanelle that is simply hypnotic...and since we're burning our fields in preparation for the next planting, and being that the moon is fully sated, as well as the trees bending over due to the heavy High Winds of late... this all is a bit of imagery come to life. P.S. - thanks for checking in on me, little one. I'll soon be back in full form! |
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Stunning work, Alison. There is flaming horror in your lines and I was mesmerized in the flow of this poem. The form, rhythm, and subject matter are impeccable, and I read it several times feeling it travel through me, much like a wind catches fire from tree to tree. Talented writer, you are!  |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
That incandescent smoky sky The haze will cover brilliant blue As if it bleeds when ashes fly And crimson red now hides the moon A delight to read dear Alison, You wrote it well. Love. Lindsay |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
This is one fantastic write, Alison. You do the assignments so well. |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Margherita, Your comments are among the most beautiful that I have ever received. You are like the sun here on the boards, never failing to offer support and kindness. Thank you for enjoying this poem and offering that Margherita love in your comment. 'Perplexity' is such an interesting way to describe the moon - I really like that and it's very fitting. xoxoox Alison - Bruce, thank you my special, poetic friend. xoxoxo Alison - Brett, Thank you very much. I am enjoying the poetry that you are sharing too. Alison - Ida, I am thinking of you. Your fire season always comes after ours. Thank you for reading and commenting, darlin'. xoxoox Alison - Thank you, Linda love. You know it's due to the talent and generosity of our teacher. He has made a huge impact upon me and my poetry. Love, Alison - Bobby, You make me laugh - and I love that about you. So from one of God's people to another - thank you. Love, Alison - Sunshine, I used to love when we burned our fields. And, yes, I think the Terzanelle is a special form of poetry. It flows so beautifully. I am thinking of you lots these days. Didn't we mention doing a poem together some time ago? xoxoox Alison - Klassy one, Thank you - I can't tell you how much your words mean to me. You have thrilled me and I am smiling from ear to ear each time I read your comment. xoxoxo Alison - Lindsay, Thank you, dear friend. Love, Alison - Sue darlin', Thank you. They are a struggle, but we are guided by the best. Love you lots, Alison |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
ali you do what you do so well I'm envious beautiful images and structure |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
shel, If it helps, I am sometimes envious of your writing too. Thank you, sweetie. xoxoxo ~ I have missed you. Love, Ali |
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peaceseaker Member
since 2009-07-29
Posts 161 |
Alison-I must agree with all the comments aforementioned here....this was indeed a wonderful piece from your pen..and I may be wrong, but it appears as a specific form? Some lovely images in this....peaceseaker |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Whoa!!! Stop the world from spinning and let us all pause to read poetry the way it should be written. You have done more than justice to this form of verse, dear friend. YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION to us all, and have set a high standard for all of us to live up to. Now, back to a reread With great appreciation Liz |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
peaceseaker, Thank you for stopping and reading. You are right. This is a structured poetic form. I have been working with Balladeer in the Poetry Workshop for over a year. It's a great place to hang out and hone your poetic skills. Come join us if you want - we are a friendly, and sometimes funny, group. /pip/Forum22/HTML/001008.html  Alison - Liz, Thank you. Honestly, I don't think I could have ever written this without the tutelage (is that spelled right?) of Balladeer. I am in his debt and he is a great teacher. I am enjoying your poetry and was thrilled to see that you read some of mine. xoxoxo Alison |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (huggies) Oh Alison, it has indeed been sad to hear about the historic wildfires all across California in particular this year and the devastating damage they've left behind, as well as across much of the Mediterranean among other places worldwide! That said, this is an amazingly haunting yet poignantly picturesque write, dearest friend, you captured this stark imagery all too instinctively, thank you sooooooooooo much for sharing! XOXO, Lisping Hibiscus "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other" |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Noah, I know what you mean. I always worry about the devastation to nature (and man). I know that often it is good for the cycle of natural life, but it still is tragic. xoxoox Alison |
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