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Open Poetry #45
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crosscountry83
Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345


0 posted 2009-08-01 03:13 PM


It's there, everyday,
lurking around the corner,
waiting for a mistake.

Wear the right clothes, it says
Be careful what you say.
Fit in with your friends.

We all know it doesn't
matter all that much
- in the end.

But the pressure is there,
Glaring from all sides.
Crushing us.

- Rileigh

[This message has been edited by crosscountry83 (08-01-2009 05:14 PM).]

© Copyright 2009 Riley - All Rights Reserved
Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
1 posted 2009-08-03 08:14 PM


I was never one to enjoy any kind of pressure, and I'm pretty claustrophobic. So, in my experience, I chose to relieve the pressure by never letting it be in the first place. Shrug it off, let it go.

Enjoyed.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
2 posted 2009-08-03 08:25 PM


CC, giving into peer pressure can literally mess up a young person's life. Time and again I have seen what those pressures can do. It's not easy to stand strong and march to the beat of your own drum ~ but it is well worth it! ~ TO BE SURE!

You have addressed a very important issue here.


EA

Yoinn
Senior Member
since 2007-08-16
Posts 649
Michigan
3 posted 2009-08-05 08:11 PM


Nice write here Rileigh. The pressure you write about here continues in some form or other through out ones life. It can take form in Religion, politics etc. The pressure to conform.
  Some small advise on the poem. You don't really reveal who "we" or "us" is to the reader. Perhaps another stanza or just a line with that in mind. Or make it intimate and say its you, that might work too... Just some thoughts my man..keep up the good writing.

Yoin

crosscountry83
Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345

4 posted 2009-08-05 09:51 PM


Thanks so much for the advice.  To a seriously new writer, it helps a lot.  I really appreciate it.  Yeah, one tiny issue though.... I'm a girl, not a guy lol. Thanks again,

Rileigh

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
5 posted 2009-08-05 11:29 PM


never let it get to me...really didn't care what mold 'they' decided needed to be filled...had my own empties to take care of,

But you're right...so many more use it for every breath they take....

j.

My grand daughters name is Ryleigh...spelled with a 'Y' though....

crosscountry83
Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345

6 posted 2009-08-06 12:05 PM


That's neat, I always though Rylee would be a cool name too.  

Rileigh

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