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Open Poetry #45
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Kaoru
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since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2009-07-31 01:36 PM


Grasping,
kneeling so fruitlessly
you will never see.
Shut the windows,
there is no need for air here,
no need for breath,
no need for anything.
And the past is flooding
like gates have been opened,
and I can't forgive, or forget,
the path you covered with slow bleeding,
so I wouldn't notice,
so that it would be
too late for me to cease.
I wish
that I could feel sorry,
or weep for you in the night.
All my attempts to be selfless
are in vain. Tapping into my strength,
you are nowhere near here,
and no darkness would suffice for me
to imagine you are.
I cannot even try
to be blind.
I can't say that I don't understand,
or that I don't try to hold something in my sleep,
when the humidity is unable to keep me from
feeling cold, but nothing
no,
nothing can cause me such pain as you,
and when it hurts, your face is in my mind's eye,
a view of harsh light, and I like better
what the night can do.

© Copyright 2009 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2009-07-31 03:32 PM


This is just so sad Meg.  I can't think of a place worse to be than in the dark.  I know sometimes people feel it helps, but sooner or later we do have to "see the light" and move on.

Beautifully crafted as usual.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
2 posted 2009-07-31 07:21 PM


Dear Meghan, often when I read one of your poems expressing incredible anguish and sorrow, I want to reach out and comfort you.

Hopefully in time, you will be able to forgive and forget and the past will no longer impinge on yout present.

Your gentleness and sensitivity make you vulnerable ~ but they also make you a phenominal, emotive poet.

Love and a warm hug,

Linda

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
3 posted 2009-07-31 08:34 PM


Kaoru,

   Your poem is sad, seeming to be full of anger, yet, it seems like there's a yearning to resolve.  I think one of the hardest things in the world to do is to forgive someone you love who has severely broken trust.  Our natural tendency is to want to trust them again and make everything all right.  So, what do we do when we're hurting so badly and we know there's a chance they'll do it again?  We go against that natural tendency, fight the evil deed-doer, then, we feel guilty for not being able to fix 'their' problem, which becomes ours...  Oh, what a cycle hurt becomes... Here, I've rattled on needlessly!  Your poem struck me deeply, as I remember how challenging things were once in my life, as well.  Rest well.  Be well, my friend.  Things do get better with movement and time.  

misce'

Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586
Oklahoma USA
4 posted 2009-07-31 10:06 PM


You write with such sadness.
GBride
Senior Member
since 2009-07-02
Posts 538

5 posted 2009-07-31 10:36 PM


You know this is a really good poem. Not just everyone can write this type of stuff. This is not just average writing, it is on a professional level. This could be published in The Atlantic magazine, or The NewYorker mag.
D.Lester Young
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219
Austin, Tx
6 posted 2009-08-01 01:08 AM


Writing in power, love this:

"when it hurts, your face is in my mind's eye,
a view of harsh light"

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
7 posted 2009-08-01 08:33 AM


Meg, hug  that  beautiful baby for me and think of all the good things to come~~


M

viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
8 posted 2009-08-01 08:34 AM


You

Have

The

Most

Intelligent

Lines.

Paul

I love my dog, and my truck. It's that simple, really.

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
9 posted 2009-08-01 10:50 AM


Well and truly said.

Impressive work.


Margherita
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since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
10 posted 2009-08-01 06:24 PM


quote:
And the past is flooding
like gates have been opened,
and I can't forgive, or forget,
the path you covered with slow bleeding,
so I wouldn't notice,
so that it would be
too late for me to cease.



Such powerful lines! There are no doubt different kinds of light, harsh light is painful you are so right. May you be able to dim this hurtful glare and shut it out of your visual perception.

There is no other way to serenity than to forgive and walk ahead.

You write so well, girl, you reach excellence.

Love,
Margherita

Kaoru
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Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
11 posted 2009-08-02 01:57 PM


Thank you all for your kind comments. Poetry, for me, only gives the lesson a better sense of tangibility.

GBride, thank you so much! I'm flattered. Perhaps I should look in to such things, but I'm inherently lazy, lol. I will definitely take it in to consideration.

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