Always Licked But Never Beaten

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Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

0 posted 2009-07-25 05:15 PM

Always Licked But Never Beaten
By: Noah Eaton
5/27/07

(My lips are stained blue and I’m always winkin’,
and my children caution signs are always blinkin’,
I got more boogity, boogity, boogity than a Hot Rod Lincoln,
cuz I’m always licked but never beaten!)

Every summer when the valley’s smitten by heatwaves,
Chilly Dilly McDippy-Wick-A-Licky’s staging lanes,
every kid anticipates me and remembers my name,
though everything else about me remains arcane.

My ride’s a ‘65 Whitby Morrison Mercedes 308,
loaded with lots more honey than the Beehive State,
it’s got full cowl bodywork that can withstand hot spells,
and it runs solely on home-made béchamel.

Yep, my banana boat’s got a classy electrofreeze chassis,
with full balloon man interior that attracts the masses,
it’s got passenger seat layout and stainless steel counters,
so I’m well-prepared for every abrupt encounter.

Top of the model with ample shelving arrangement,
and a 16-lid freezer on deck for any special engagement,
equipped with a Kwik Whipper and a Carpigiani Machine,
to woo every child, neighbor and may queen.

It’s got a Granita dispenser and a hot chocolate maker,
not to mention a Rainbow Ripper Juicer and a Milton Milkshaker,
with bain-marie heating so the product won’t burn,
and thermostat control to guarantee freshness after each sharp turn.

It’s installed with Micro Miniatures Harmony 64,
with dozens of jocund jingles that constantly pour,
my tastes ain’t limited to "Sailing, Sailing (Over The Bounding Main)",
I also dig “Geronimo Gelato” and “Strawberry Shortcake Refrains”.

My ride’s got a detachable sun canopy,
so I can sunbath after hours of soft-served elbow grease,
I’ve got a bumper sticker smack-dab center on my towbar,
says, “What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?”

Some days I prefer some wholesome exercise,
so I hop aboard my parasol-covered Giovanni Trike,
built with a refrigerated storage bin,
with six eutectic plates and a flip flap lid.

So all throughout the day I’m bending eight,
from the sunshine of August to the showers of May,
unwinding into overdrive through Hilgard Junction,
ushering in the next wave of push-up pop malfunctions.

Well, I wound it all the way up to twenty,
and my custard thruster went off like a spinning jenny,
Yep, I’m always glued right against the seat,
I say, “Oh, it’s just a sticky leak,
from my Wibbly Wobbly Wonder treat!”

My music box’s always buzzin’ like a cherry torpedo,
when the community pool’s swarming in Escondito,
and I make sure my inventory’s crammed full,
in preparation for Zellwood’s Sweet Corn Festival.

I’m the quintessential mascot of the summer,
I know every lyric to every song even when I’m just a hummer,
I run on all six cylinders from here to Mount Teton,
cuz I’m always licked but never beaten!

(Ooohh boogity boogity boogity boo!)

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other"

Mother Teresa

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2009-07-25 07:01 PM

Yo Mistletoe Angel,

There's a lot of good humor in this one.

Bobby

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

2 posted 2009-07-25 07:47 PM

Well, Howdy Doody,
Chilly Dilly McDippy-Wick-A-Licky!

May this earthy 'angel' go for a ride in your banana boat with the classy chassis while licking a Geronimo Gelato and humming a Strawberry Shortcake refrain?

Wibbly Wobbly Wonder-full,

Linda

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