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Open Poetry #45
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Heart2Heart
Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738
Scotland/Norway

0 posted 2009-07-20 02:46 PM





The autumn evening air is sweet
The grass feels soft beneath my feet
Outlined by twilight I can see
How beautiful the sky can be
As quietly the shadows creep

When all the flowers go to sleep
The little stars come out to peep
Over woodlands and dark blue sea
With gentle eyes

Then eerie green begins to sweep
Across horizons, then to leap
In zig-zag ribbons, silently
Resembling chains of jewellery
As morning rose begins to seep
With gentle eyes

© Copyright 2009 Heart2Heart - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2009-07-20 04:45 PM


Ahhh, to witness this majestic performance of the sky! You just brought me close to the personal experience with your wonderful words, dear Katriona.

Love,
Margherita

Heart2Heart
Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738
Scotland/Norway
2 posted 2009-07-20 05:15 PM


Thank you so much for your very kind and
lovely reply Margherita.  Yes, the Northern Lights are a fantastic sight, I often see them in the autumn and winter, but environmental specialists tell me this stunning spectacle will be seen less and less in the future due to pollution in the atmosphere.  

As to the rondeau itself, and for those who are not familiar with it, it's really an old French form of classic poesy, adapted somewhat through the centuries to English ways of writing, which is a pity I think.  A rondeau should consist of fifteen lines, of which thirteen should have eight syllables, plus two refrains (which are half lines, each of four syllables), using altogether only three rhymes. It has three stanzas, of which the last line of the second and third should be identical.  I think the most beautiful and probably the most well known rondeau is that old classic "In Flanders Fields" by the Canadian poet John McCrae who wrote it when he knew he was dying.
Heart2Heart

Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
3 posted 2009-07-20 05:23 PM


Heart2Heart,

You have done the Aurora justice.  Beautiful writing for magical lights.

Alison

D.Lester Young
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219
Austin, Tx
4 posted 2009-07-20 05:26 PM


Love this with your 8 syllable rhyme and with your offset line “With gentle eyes.” Truly beautiful Poetic craft(wo)manship, Blessings.

By the way, the imagery was also great.

This is also a song, 2nd stanza the chorus.

Heart2Heart
Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738
Scotland/Norway
5 posted 2009-07-20 05:37 PM


Alison, thanks so much for stopping by to comment.
Heart2Heart

Heart2Heart
Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738
Scotland/Norway
6 posted 2009-07-20 05:39 PM


Thank you Lester, yes why not, lyrics for a very short song   Perhaps you can accompany me ?, I'm quite a dab hand at the piano, haha
Heart2Heart

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2009-07-20 06:46 PM


Very nice...James
D.Lester Young
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219
Austin, Tx
8 posted 2009-07-20 07:15 PM


One more verse of your talent along with the chorus and it is a best seller song.

I am afraid my Ben Franklin voice cannot make it. They ask me to play Ben Franklin, I was game. I do not need make up, but when I found it was 1776, a musical, dance play, I politely said no. There Franklin was okay, but did not weather like this hundred dollar bill poet, worth a few Lincoln pennies.

Anyway it still sings to me.  

[This message has been edited by D.Lester Young (07-20-2009 07:57 PM).]

Billie Cullimore
Member
since 2009-03-27
Posts 315

9 posted 2009-07-20 10:33 PM



Dear Heart2Heart;

     I hope to catch you here. I love your poems and try to read them as oftan as I can altho I do not get to my computer every day.  I want to answer your question as to whether any of my children wright poetry, the answer is Yes.  My daughter Shelley and my son Tracey and his son Chance.  

     If you have been reading any of WTBAKELAR (Tracey) Then you have been reading my sons work. I am very proud of him.
     So far my daughter or my grandson have not put anything on pip talk but on Google and Poetry.com  May be soon.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
10 posted 2009-07-20 10:44 PM


I am tucking this fine Bordeaux, I mean 'Rondeau', away. Smooth as a fine wine. This is one of my favourite poetic forms and you have done it masterfully.

I grew up in Northern Ontario, Canada, and marveled at the Northern Lights (Aurora Borealis). I, too, have been moved to write poems about them but none as beautiful as this, dear lady poet.




Linda

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
11 posted 2009-07-21 01:32 AM


This is something I have never seen but wish I had. Thank you for sharing your view.
I truly enjoy your writing, Poetess.
                              Ida

Heart2Heart
Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738
Scotland/Norway
12 posted 2009-07-21 02:23 AM


Ah Lester, I'm afraid my croaky voice would scare the daylights out of anybody, so I wouldn't advise to include me if you want an audience, haha.  Perhaps you're right though, could mke a nice lullaby for one of my grandchildren, shall think about adding on that last verse Would have to read it though as a nusery rhyme for obvious reasons, hehe ! Thanks again for stopping by.
Heart2Heart
Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738
Scotland/Norway
13 posted 2009-07-21 02:26 AM


Oh such wonderful news Billie. I have noticed the talents of Tracey for sure.  And I know where he got them now too.  So lovely to be able to share such a wonderful and common interest.  Thanks for letting me know and for stopping by.
Heart2Heart (Katriona )

Heart2Heart
Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738
Scotland/Norway
14 posted 2009-07-21 02:29 AM


Oh Linda, smiling as I read your reply, thanks m'dear for looking in.  Well growing up in Canada you should know for sure what I'm talking about here, did you ever notice that buzzing, electrical sound the lights make too, very eerie.  
Katriona

Heart2Heart
Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738
Scotland/Norway
15 posted 2009-07-21 02:33 AM


Thanks Ida for your reply.  I think the Northern Lights can only be seen up north, the farthest south I have seen them is the borderline between Scotland and England.
Then you have the same effect in the southern hemisphere where they call the lights Aurora Australis, probably just as beautiful a sight.
Katriona

Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
16 posted 2009-07-21 02:36 AM


There is splendor in the peace of this poem and magesty in the aurora borealis.  I'd like to see it once.  I just learned about the Rondeau form of poetry here on PIP.  I will have to read Flanders Field now, as well. Thank you for sharing these lines to an art.

Karen

Heart2Heart
Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738
Scotland/Norway
17 posted 2009-07-21 01:58 PM


Thanks Lassy, very nice of you to stop by, thanks for your kind reply.
Heart2Heart

Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586
Oklahoma USA
18 posted 2009-07-22 11:41 PM


This is beautiful, Heart2Heart.
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
19 posted 2009-07-23 12:02 PM


Beautiful


ARCTIC WIND

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
20 posted 2009-07-23 11:17 AM


In response to your reply, oh, yes! I most definitely have heard that sound. The air is charged with electricity and it is a most ethereal experience.
Our home was by the golf course and I used to go out there at night and lie down in the snow and gaze in wonder at the electrical display of shimmering lights. Magical!

hugs:
Linda

angellea
Member
since 2009-03-29
Posts 144
NC, USA
21 posted 2009-07-23 10:56 PM


i am enchanted by your words and awestruck by the beautiful picture. it couldn't be more perfect.

maranda

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
22 posted 2009-07-24 10:09 AM


hello Katriona, you make me love rules in poetry, something I have abandoned since a long time...Thank you very much for the rondeaU.

yann

Johan
Member
since 2009-05-13
Posts 88
Lincolnshire, England U.K.
23 posted 2009-07-24 12:41 PM


When I first saw this wonder of the skies on a cruise to the Norwegian fiords, it was a moment of real amazement, you have captured it as I saw it with your poem and picture, beautifully written Katriona.

Johan

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
24 posted 2009-07-24 06:36 PM


superb imagery (both poetic and photographic)!

sustained applause for this 'penning' !

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
25 posted 2009-07-24 06:41 PM


lovely
Heart2Heart
Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738
Scotland/Norway
26 posted 2009-07-25 12:58 PM


A very warm and grateful thank you to each and one of you for taking your precious time to look in on this rondeau.  The picture is from Iceland by the way, though we can see this marvellous phenomenon on and off here where I live farther south every autumn and winter when the atmosphere is clear and cold.
Heart2Heart

Heart2Heart
Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738
Scotland/Norway
27 posted 2009-07-25 01:00 AM


A special comment to Yann:  Some see strictly formatted rules in poetry as restrictive (I'm talking about classic style poesy), I love the challenge and opportunities they offer Thanks for that keen and sharp observation.
Heart2Heart

jbstillwater
Member
since 2009-07-03
Posts 216
Albuquerque, New Mexico
28 posted 2009-07-27 01:39 PM


LOve it! Love it!  Standing ovation, Katriona.  How well you preserve this beautiful world for the future!!!

Huggs
Jan

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