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Open Poetry #45
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jbstillwater
Member
since 2009-07-03
Posts 216
Albuquerque, New Mexico

0 posted 2009-07-15 02:33 PM






He fades on his moonlit walk, a shrinking violet
through fields of fire flies this last night of summer
before they leave; before they die.
His footsteps soft through cutter grass
sharp against ghost legs, jar in hand.,
disappearing-reappearing
Black curls cropped above sage bush, he reaches
to catch the flash moving in and out of his life,
capturing it in his lightning bug jail
A whoop and a holler as he heads through the meadow,
shoulder deep in Luna’s light; he blinks away the moment
lest she memorize his soul
Howling a mournful song, he takes her lightness
to the Rio in water deep and dark, for a swift ride
to nowhere, for he hides deep in his meadow
as he fades on his moonlit walk, a shrinking violet
through fields of lightning bugs and cutter grass
on this last night of summer
~~
~~
~~

(Author's note) Atahsaia is the Zuni Demon of the night who has been known to hide behind rocks and sage brush during the day . There is also a deep metaphor in this poem.)



© Copyright 2009 Janet K. Brennan - All Rights Reserved
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
1 posted 2009-07-15 03:06 PM


ms jb..sequins on a gypsy dancer's black as the night skirt come to mind here, brings back memories of mandan lake up in north wi/minn...enjoyed the view..a bit more romantic then the actual story I suspect..
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
2 posted 2009-07-15 03:51 PM


jbstillwater

a captivating read!  I've read it three times, but it begs to be read more.  

miscellanea

Heart2Heart
Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738
Scotland/Norway
3 posted 2009-07-15 03:55 PM


I can only comment on the exquisite wording of this poem.  A fine write indeed.  
Katriona

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2009-07-15 05:05 PM


quote:
A whoop and a holler as he heads through the meadow,
shoulder deep in Luna’s light; he blinks away the moment
lest she memorize his soul



I was somehow magnetized by this spectral write, you rendered the atmosphere masterfully.

Haunting!

Love,
Margherita


jbstillwater
Member
since 2009-07-03
Posts 216
Albuquerque, New Mexico
5 posted 2009-07-16 04:46 PM


Thanks guys

Happy that you stopped by for a read

Jan

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