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Open Poetry #45
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Deb123
New Member
since 2009-07-12
Posts 6
Hampshire, England

0 posted 2009-07-13 12:27 PM


What? ask i, is a girl to do?
When alone in a room,
she writes at night,
of a tale of woe and lack of love,
that frightens so much,
in her middle years,
cos she knows not how to rectify,
the lack of spine beside her form.
when all she wishes,
from one life,
is to feel at one,
with a another soul.
Shared beat against the outside enemy,
Of day to day homage to modern living,
Its frantic pace,
hard to stand against,
day on day alone,
with time spent,
covers tucked hard,
around her form,
to trick her mind,
into feeling,
safe,
secure,
wholeness of being,
which fails wholeheartedly,
of course.
resulting in nights awake,
in mindful dreams,
of waking nightmares,
born without sleep.
Which she purges,
in nightly scribblings,
prodding the question,
in search,
never enddingly of the anwser.

© Copyright 2009 Deborah Amanda Paterson - All Rights Reserved
OldPoet
Member
since 2009-06-30
Posts 112
The Left Coast
1 posted 2009-07-13 12:32 PM


There is a very attractive honesty that shines through this lament. Its construction is solid and its message is poignant. I would change the last line though.

"And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns,
And so it goes" - Billy Joel

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
2 posted 2009-07-13 12:43 PM


It is fortunate that you have the gift of expressing yourself through writing. There are times when I read a poem that was an out-pouring of emotions, thoughts, feelings, ~ I find the answers for which I seek. It is as though my subconscious knows what my conscious mind does not.


EA

martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic
3 posted 2009-07-13 04:04 AM


you and me both, sweetheart. I'll toast to a kindred spirit.
Deb123
New Member
since 2009-07-12
Posts 6
Hampshire, England
4 posted 2009-07-14 08:27 PM


thankyou for the kind words. i kinds thought id post three very different types of my poems. lol
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