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Open Poetry #45
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2009-07-07 04:11 PM



that I am indeed lost in the
canvas of this form


so I watched the changes in you
and me
as if         I were the souls edge
where sea and tide rise --
where moon greets shifting star/s

with the passing crumble of stone/s

who will guide me to the  'rest'   in nights
while I drift on some winter storm
awaiting each crystal
to form her beauty

I am as empty

as the rose
that tries to touch the rivers bend

the season of air between
palm and prayer


the press of body
between grain and sand

where silence fills you

so the rain will fall
wet upon your lips

          drops of tin and stone

and I will search for the dust of you

in broken glass
&breaking light


to paint color on warmth of flesh
and echo my vacant dreams
to bury the grey of stone

in the amber of my sleep

to remind me how orchids
cry


and I am always
within the shades of you

between echo and dream
    the   farewell


~~**~~
I never let one moment define me,
I define myself by all moments and how they teach and touch me......02  

© Copyright 2009 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2009-07-07 04:31 PM


"to remind me how orchids
cry

and I am always
within the shades of you

between echo and dream "

gawd I wish I could write like you!!!!

this is SUCH a keeper


OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
2 posted 2009-07-07 04:42 PM


Greeneyes, you may FEEL "as empty/ as the rose/ that tries to reach the river's bend" but you ARE as full of talent that explodes beauty, soul, depth and feeling, as any human can be.  Your work is always exquisite.  We get to see far too little of it, but it is SOOOOOOOOO worth it when we do!  I am sorry for your pain, but I am grateful that you have channelled it into SUCH art!  Thank you for posting this.

Owl

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
3 posted 2009-07-07 06:52 PM


as a scientific and philosophic 'Universalist'; geologist; and
'Romantic', I can't help but love the imagery of this 'write' ...

I am especially fond of:

"as if         I were the souls edge
  where sea and tide rise --
  where moon greets shifting star/s

  with the passing crumble of stone/s

  who will guide me to the  'rest'   in    nights
  while I drift on some winter storm
  awaiting each crystal
  to form her beauty "

AND that grand last line!:

"between echo and dream
    the   farewell"

sustained applause for this 'penning' !

brneyedgrly
Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125
nowhere and everywhere
4 posted 2009-07-07 08:01 PM



~hey, greeneyedgrly  

i love this:


I am as empty

as the rose
that tries to touch the rivers bend

the season of air between
palm and prayer

the press of body
between grain and sand


~beautiful poem



unboundpoetess
Member
since 2008-05-24
Posts 477

5 posted 2009-07-07 11:54 PM


Couldn't choose a fave if I tried.
You render beauty with gossamer strokes.
Gorgeous stuff.

Heather

Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana
6 posted 2009-07-08 08:14 AM


This is incredible, I feel unworthy to even make a comment.
So I won't. lol

I'll just read in pleasure.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
7 posted 2009-07-08 08:22 AM


quote:
to paint color on warmth of flesh
and echo my vacant dreams
to bury the grey of stone

in the amber of my sleep



The whole poem pulses with emotion, drifting from your heart onto the ink and from there right into the perception of the reader.

Exquisitely done.

Love,
Margherita

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
8 posted 2009-07-08 09:32 AM


Whenever I read a poem of yours, Dear Poetess, my blue eyes turn green!

Your ink is liquid gold! ~ May I borrow a drop or two?


Linda

Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
9 posted 2009-07-08 10:05 AM


quote:
so I watched the changes in you
and me
as if         I were the souls edge
where sea and tide rise --
where moon greets shifting star/s



That is exquisite writing.  I also enjoy your poetic structure.  Such beautiful poetry.

xoxoxo
Alison

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

10 posted 2009-07-08 12:18 PM


loved the title...sure NOT disapointed with the read...especially with lines like this:

"to bury the grey of stone

in the amber of my sleep "

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
11 posted 2009-07-08 02:40 PM


thank you all for stopping by, so glad you all enjoyed this ramble....

hugsss and luv to all

~~**~~
I never let one moment define me,
I define myself by all moments and how they teach and touch me......02  

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
12 posted 2009-07-08 04:47 PM


just 'stopping by' for another read!

continuing applause for this fine 'penning' !!

WTBAKELAR
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2008-09-09
Posts 1089
Utah, USA
13 posted 2009-07-08 05:32 PM


MOST BEAUTIFUL!!!
But, That's to be expected from one as beautiful as you.

Love your poems, (and your picture) and the way they make me feel,   Pure, intense pleasureful bliss.

Thank you for this treasure,
Tracey.

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
14 posted 2009-07-08 05:33 PM


Greeneyes - you are an artist supreme. This write is amazing...

BC

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