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Open Poetry #45
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martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic

0 posted 2009-07-01 05:05 AM



Time told its tender tale
of lovers mysteries
and wedding veils

Daunting vixen's
deceitful tongue
tried and tied

in knots

it's over
and the ready steady
sing life's new songs

day by day

© Copyright 2009 Kenneth Bradley Smith - All Rights Reserved
Sonofgloin
Junior Member
since 2009-06-09
Posts 48
Australia
1 posted 2009-07-02 10:07 PM



Time told its tender tale
of lovers mysteries
and wedding veils

Daunting vixen's
deceitful tongue
tried and tied

Some neat little word play, goes together well and nails the sentiment...but where is the rest? you stopped painting the picture too quickly, well that's my feeling....Paul

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

2 posted 2009-07-02 11:49 PM


I loved the way you employed abruptness in the ending, but, I too, must confess...I was certainly left wanting for more...
OldPoet
Member
since 2009-06-30
Posts 112
The Left Coast
3 posted 2009-07-03 12:06 PM


It's difficult to pack so much into such brevity but you have succeeded big time. Bravo!
martiniat8
Senior Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic
4 posted 2009-07-15 02:26 AM


hmm, thanks for the input, I may add more and repost
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