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Open Poetry #45
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the girl gets real…
| Open Poetry #45 |
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the girl gets real… |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere 
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I can pretty you up with words all I want; write that flowery spin, Or I can deny or pretend depending on what imaginary mood I’m in… I can run it through make~believe land, Sprinkle it with stardust sand, Even sugar~coat it like candy… When what I really need to do is to finally de~flower you, Acknowledge what you did to me and dirty you up with the truth. ~ from “Songs from the Time of Kren Shaw” |
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| © Copyright 2009 shellie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Yoinn Senior Member
since 2007-08-16
Posts 649Michigan |
I love this poem. You have a straight forward honesty that makes it work well. I find often I will use emotions from a divorce or breakup to create my poetry and in a attempt to do this I sometimes as you state very well " sprinkle it with stardust sand". Then I almost HAVE to write a dark and brooding piece about the same feelings just to set the compass back to truth north. If this is a little long lol sorry. Just wanted to let you know how i related to this one. Yoin |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
~yo...you captured the spirit of my poem exactly... yes...this is my brooding piece that points my compass north... all of your comments are appreciated, thank you... |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
I kinda feel dirty reading this. But that's good. lol I enjoy the flow and rhythm in this one, it rolls off the tongue. |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear Brneyedgrly, I was "de~flowered" years ago, and I've already written a truthful auto-biography. You have written a very good poem here. I like it a lot. Love Bobby |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
~guy...yes, i have the feeling that you are one of the kind of guys that has to be prettied up with words to cover your dirty truth...lol glad you liked... |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
~yo dear bobby... let's not get personal here... lol always seeking your approval... : ) |
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rad802 Member
since 2008-04-19
Posts 279KY U.S.A. |
Yes, there is love here. By the way good write, I enjoyed this. Thanks Rick A. Delmonico |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
I sure understand this. It brings back memories. I really like the way you express youself. |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
Yo brneye...do you know me? lol |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
browneyes..no flowers left but you can tear up a few tattoos if you pack a lunch and don't mind the sound of your makeup smearing..enjoyed this ms/ |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
~thanks, rad.. welcome back to pip! |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
~rose... thanks for reading me : ) |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
~guy... let's just say i know your type and leave it at that...lol : ) |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
~dark... yes...a gritty motorcycle ride is probably just what this girl needs... : ) how long is your waiting list?? ~browneyes |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I like your plain talking poetry. You tell the story and lead me right along with you. Alison |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
...a! i haven't seen you around since i first came to pip...i'm really glad that you came back to read, girly... i like how you are challenging yourself in your writing...i need to get schooled but it is just so hard to tame a free~verse spirit...lol  ~s |
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