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Open Poetry #45
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Look Hard At Me
| Open Poetry #45 |
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Look Hard At Me |
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Yoinn Senior Member
since 2007-08-16
Posts 649Michigan 
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Look Hard At Me Look hard, do you see this huddled man in the corner of your life. Walk your accuser’s boots over to me and take your hands and force my head up. Gaze deep into my wild eyes, can you see all that is broken in me, can you see what an effort it takes to live my life. With your ring free hand, slap my face hard. It will change the pain in my life none. Every evening I have endured more than I thought possible the morning before. Step and twist with your blame on shaking hands, trembling here on the floor. Are they not the same strong hands that held and comforted you in your times of need and doubt. Dig your fingers into my mated hair, and yank my head back. With your sharp social razor carve out my eyes and slice of my ears, for I can stand the sight of myself or listen to my own weeping no longer. Yoin 9/11 was a inside job. Ask questions, demand answers. |
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| © Copyright 2009 Tim W. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
For god's sake, I do hope that writing this extremely dark piece helped you (if this is about you, though I hope not!) raise your head and no more tolerate that anyone exercised such negative power over you. It is well written, no doubt (with too horrifying details though!). But it is self-effacing, which is never a good thing. Love, Margherita |
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Yoinn Senior Member
since 2007-08-16
Posts 649Michigan |
Thank you Margherita for your reply to this very dark poem. Although after reading it I'm still not sure if you liked it.  It certainly had a impact that i can see. Thanks for saying it was well written. It can be very hard to write dark, depression type poetry and not have it sound like a diary page. I think there can be great value in this type of poetry. When the monster lives in the closet and you see his red eyes looking out and hear his nails digging at the floor, it takes alot of courage to jump up and open the door and put a name on him. This is never self-effacing. It's a complex issue for sure. PS. yes the poem is about me and I am doing fine. Thanks for the concern. Yoin 9/11 was a inside job. Ask questions, demand answers. |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
Walk your accuser’s boots over to me and take your hands and force my head up. Every evening I have endured more than I thought possible the morning before. ~yoinn...powerful, honest, gripping poem |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Deeply moving almost frightful imagery here. There is great strength that resonates through the entirety of this piece as well. Life isn't always gentle and sweet... and this kind of darkness is sometimes appropriate to the situation that created it. Better to face the demon down, than mask it or pretend it doesn't exist at all. Definitely made a powerful impact. |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Lots of powerful images and phrases in this piece, Yoin. I am glad that I stopped to read it. Alisn |
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Tara Simms Hall Member
since 2001-11-07
Posts 87South Carolina |
Yoinn, there's a lot of heavy duty stuff in this one. It reads like a punch to the gut. "Every evening I have endured more than I thought possible the morning before." LOVED that part! On another note, please look it over because there appears to be some typos in here: "mated" when I think you meant "matted hair", writing "of" when I think you meant "off", etc. Tara |
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Yoinn Senior Member
since 2007-08-16
Posts 649Michigan |
thank you everyone for your kind words about this distrubing piece. It really was born from deep depression and a desire to overcome it. Im much better now but I still like to write about those terrible times in my life. Thanks for pointing out the typos Tara. I can't fix them on this post but I will on my copy. Yoin |
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