navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #45 » Either side of Victory
Open Poetry #45
Post A Reply Post New Topic Either side of Victory Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
MinSW
Member
since 2009-06-14
Posts 53
Sri Lanka

0 posted 2009-06-16 05:41 AM



I stand straight
Chin held high
As I'm trained to do;

There goes the Captain,
Praising, appreciating,
My brave deed of destroying the enemy;

Some distance away,
A woman wails-cursing-
My crime of killing her man;

There's my love,
With our child,
Pride shining in her eyes;

Some distance away
A mother and a child-
Tears streaming down their eyes;

I step up,
Another piece of metal
Pinned to my green shirt;

A man stepped down,
Because of a metal,
Wearing a reddened shirt;

I halt,
Stand up straight,
Salute my Commander in Chief;

Some distance away
A woman doubles up
Paying last respect to her man;

Our flag is up,
It flows in the wind,
Speaking of a triumph so great;

Another flag down,
All are in black,
Speaking of a loss so great;


© Copyright 2009 Minoli SW - All Rights Reserved
brneyedgrly
Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125
nowhere and everywhere
1 posted 2009-06-16 06:45 PM


~oh, min...this is heart-breaking...

I step up,
Another piece of metal
Pinned to my green shirt;

A man stepped down,
Because of a metal,
Wearing a reddened shirt;


the contrast you paint by switching between the two points of view is brilliant and screams volumes about the reality of war.  

very poignant and timely...thank you, thank you  

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
2 posted 2009-06-16 08:14 PM


A poignant write for sure and so very well penned.

A sign of the times, sadly~

MinSW
Member
since 2009-06-14
Posts 53
Sri Lanka
3 posted 2009-06-17 10:45 AM


thanks so much..it really is comforting to know that you actually feel this..
this is so true..speciall in y country, Sri Lanka which was at a civil war for decades, this has been going on and on..
thankfully, we have peace now..but, this peace is rather questinable..as you will find in future..

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2009-06-17 12:27 PM


A very tender sensitive write, allowing the reader to feel the loss and agony from both sides.
brneyedgrly
Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125
nowhere and everywhere
5 posted 2009-06-20 07:49 PM


~dear min...

i told you that i love this poem...i came to read it again and it hits me just as hard as it did the first time...

thanks  : )

MinSW
Member
since 2009-06-14
Posts 53
Sri Lanka
6 posted 2009-06-21 02:38 AM


wow! i'm really proud to have made u come back to read again..

thank u so much!

<3

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #45 » Either side of Victory

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary