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Open Poetry #45
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Living in the bush
| Open Poetry #45 |
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Living in the bush |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia 
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The sunshine it fades and feelings do grow This place like a smile holds a warmth that I know The closing of space and the feeling of peace Does seem as my longing; as well my release The bush holds a magic that draws me to see To look for that treasure that makes me feel free To find love of nature and love in the heart A place filled with wonder, where God played his part It seems I hear voices that call from within Which lure and tempt me to forward begin To search what’s entrancing and what calls my name To find and to marvel at all it became It’s a place I feel happy, where freedom does smile Where mind becomes lost as I wander each mile Where I sit by the ferns and the moss by the creek While voices of ponder and bush start to speak It’s a place that is gifted by more than one knows A part of my dreaming where more beauty shows A place close to heaven or as I believe Surrounded by nature and gifts I receive This place holds a gift that is shared by his hand A coat of God’s wonder that’s laid on the land Where we can feel comfort and feelings of bliss Where we can find nature while warmed by her kiss |
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| © Copyright 2009 Rick Van Weenen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: The whole poem is wonderful to read and feel and the above quoted line really says so much of your love for this place. Just saw that Australia is one of the places in the world where people are the happiest and you certainly confirm this, dear Rick. Love, Margherita  |
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Heart2Heart Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738Scotland/Norway |
A wonderfully serene poem that I needed to read today. Puts me in a calm and tranquil mood for later on. Beautiful poem which I thank you for sharing. Heart2Heart |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Dear Margherita, glad to see you here my friend, I think we are happy here, but if you are that type of person, it is not the place but what is seen inside and then refected, so glad you visited and replied here, thank you. Dear Heart2Heart, glad I could share this with you my friend and happy it will put you in a place of peace when needed. Enjoyed your reply, enjoy your week. Rick |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
It’s a place that is gifted by more than one knows A part of my dreaming where more beauty shows A place close to heaven or as I believe Surrounded by nature and gifts I receive Magic words my friend as only you can write them, a great poem Rick. Take care. Lindsay |
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Billie Cullimore Member
since 2009-03-27
Posts 315 |
Rick; Your beautiful poem reminded me of my own home in the rocky mountains of Utah. as a young girl I would sit by a streem and watch the clowds and dream of my future. Good work. Billie C. |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Home is where the heart is dear Rick.. and your poem clearly demonstrates this .. well done, a lovely read.. xx RDB xx Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
The bush holds a magic that draws me to see To look for that treasure that makes me feel free To find love of nature and love in the heart A place filled with wonder, where God played his part outstanding right, as always... Hello my ol friend....it's so good to read you...hope all is well in your part of the world...and love envelopes your whole being. Hugs Lee J. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It seems I hear voices that call from within Which lure and tempt me to forward begin To search what’s entrancing and what calls my name To find and to marvel at all it became ~*~ This is the stanza that caught my breath...  |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Hi Lindsay, nice you could visit and give a comment my friend, thank you as always. Hi there Billie, thank you for the visit and reply my friend, I am glad the poem brought you back some memories, it is nice when that happens hey. Dear Roniece, thank you, lovely to again get your reply, take care my friend. Dear Lee, great to have you visit and reply my friend, thank you so much for the time to stop by. Dear Sunshine, enjoyed your reply, thank you so much for the visit my friend. To you all my friends, again thank you so much for your replies, they are all very special to me, take care and be well, c u soon. Rick |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Rick, We call it the "Bush" here too and I love it with all my heart. I love smelling the ferns and alders after a rain. I love the devil's clubs in the woods. I love the quiet when no one is around and I can breathe the silence. I really like this poem. I understand it. Alison |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Dear Alison, good to see you here my friend, the bush is a wonderful place indeed and one that I enjoy visiting from time to time, nice you can share in nature's experiences as well, we need to make that time. Thanks for your reply Alison, good to see you here again. Rick |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You always manage to inject a nice flavor into your work, Rick, which makes it special. Since you encourage critiques, let me say that if you were to knock out the extraneous words which are injected solely to maintain the rhyme, rhythm and flow, it would make a world of difference in the quality of the work. Best to you....... |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Balladeer, my friend, thank you for your suggestion here, I will try it for you, but will not be easy for me, I don't feel it is poetry without the rhyming words, that's just me hey. Thanks for the visit and reply, always very much appreciated. Rick |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
No, Rick, I'm not speaking of the rhyming words. God knows I am a pure rhymer!! I'm speaking of extra words injected into sentences whose only basic purpose is to maintain the meter. For example, "The sunshine it fades and feelings do grow". It and do really have no business there. I doubt you speak that way in conversation and they hurt the line by showing that the meter is being forced and you are stretching for consistent syllable counts. Beginning the last line of the first stanza with "does" is the same thing. I watch sunshine fade as my warm feelings grow or something similar is not forced. I'm only offering suggestions because I am a fan of your work, the flavor you induce and the portraits you portray. They deserve the best constructed sentences possible. Feel free to tell me to mind my own business and I will fold my tent with no hard feelings at all. |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Hi Balladeer, you know it is great to have someone to help, you are skilled in the English language and know all the terminologies, certainly unlike myself. I did not realize that I was even doing what you say, I write to make it sound right in my head, but as you say it is forced, I will indeed try to change that my friend, it should make a big difference. Don’t mind your own business, help if you can, I do truly appreciate it. Thank you. Rick |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
No problem, Rick. I enjoy helping in any way I can. E-mail me with any questions. Best to you.... |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
You know between you and Lindsay I sure want to go to Australia now. I hear it is very much like Vancouver, British Columbia too. Lovely poem Rick. |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Rick - excellent write, I feel I know of this place of which you write. Can't say enough about it... BC |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Dear Mysteria, Australia is indeed a wonderful place to live, but really it would be like anywhere, we need to look and find the beauty, staying in the one spot will not bring all the wonders awaiting. Thank you for your reply my friend, Lindsay and myself are indeed lucky and blessed to have you read our works. Rick |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Hi Bill, we live in a wonderful country here, I have only seen parts and look forward very much to seeing more, I see so much in my imagination, combining this with all I know, the words come. The bush is all around us, offers its beauty and gives us our smile. Thank you for your reply my friend, I enjoy each one. Rick |
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