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Open Poetry #45
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Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2009-06-14 06:21 PM



Underneath her breath
Between the right and left of her neck,
She sat sullen,
With her back to her mothers fingers,

Her eyes tied with grim,
and her lip
quivered like a portrait in the dim light.

Underneath her shirt,
Below her tight jeans,
She was vulnerable again.

Her long angelic hair
sat on her mothers lap,
cradling to her skin,

Flailing to the hands
That hurt her thighs
like the whiskey bludgeoned dip
of his ease.

His battered hands
Clenched around her naval,
around her deep sigh,
like a piano without its keys.

She blinked, and it was over.
Her hands shook;
they shook.

© Copyright 2009 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2009-06-14 09:12 PM


Oh my, this aches. You have carefully chosen words to describe an unthinkable horror, a truly sensitive subject. Well done, Tomer.
Billie Cullimore
Member
since 2009-03-27
Posts 315

2 posted 2009-06-15 12:43 PM


What in the world is this all about?  


You got me. What ever it is. It is not pretty.  You need help.

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
3 posted 2009-06-15 01:02 AM


This is a sullen piece. Enjoyed.
Sonofgloin
Junior Member
since 2009-06-09
Posts 48
Australia
4 posted 2009-06-15 01:37 AM


Interesting choice of topic, there must be a story behind it, please do not tell me though.
Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
5 posted 2009-06-15 08:32 AM


Thanks for the responses.  

Guys, it's fiction.  There's no story behind it.  Just wanted to tell a story of a woman being hurt by someone.

Tomer

raeann
New Member
since 2009-06-24
Posts 2

6 posted 2009-06-24 12:09 PM


This is by far one of my favorites i have seen yet. some people think its not right my i loved it because of the situation it is about that i have been in it can be taken in many ways. great job!
Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana
7 posted 2009-06-24 12:27 PM


I got it Tomer, and liked it a lot.
It was dark and sparse.

Not every poem is about reality, nor should it be.

brneyedgrly
Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125
nowhere and everywhere
8 posted 2009-06-24 06:42 PM


~tomer...

i, too, think this was a brave topic to tackle...

remember, the less we talk about the ugly things, the easier it remains to push it deep in the dark closet...all that does is protect the abuser and shame the victim.

someone who has been through something like this can fully understand the meaning of this:

     She blinked, and it was over.
     Her hands shook;
     they shook.

~nice job...

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