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Open Poetry #45
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The Second Cashier Arrives At Eight.
| Open Poetry #45 |
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The Second Cashier Arrives At Eight. |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. 
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I was sick with discomfort and all my work was done, anyway they told me I could go home. I said I'd stick around until eight, if that was alright. I was fishing for glimpses of you, baited my hook carefully with mouthwash and a clean shirt. You bit when I pretended I'd forgotten my triple extra-large sharpie used for marking boxes and told you that I was ready. "Ready for what?" you asked nervous, and genuinely unknowing. "Ready for your phone number." I said, "Don't make these nice people behind me wait." as I covered my forearm from elbow to wrist there were so many nines I had to smile and think it was fake but it wasn't. ___________________________ not my best work, but I wanted to put it on paper.  Everyone deserves to be loved, even you. |
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| © Copyright 2009 Paul Weisbrod - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
True story? If so, cool stuff viking. |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
yes. it was true at quarter to nine this morning. Everyone deserves to be loved, even you. |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
Then, congrats, man. |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
metal...where did you learn your smooth lines? i loved it! |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
Oh I'm apparently a smooooooth operator. Nah, just kidding. I'm a joker at heart, a bit of a jacka** -- You know how it is. I like to have fun, why should getting a phone number be any different?  -P Everyone deserves to be loved, even you. |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
this one simply brings a smile...who said that good things just don't happen to those who wait...here's a real life feel-good example that it does...nice job--totally understand the need to get it on paper...cool |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Agreeing with Steven... this brings a smile of knowing, the nonchalance of nervousness, hopefullness, wishing, wishing, and then... writing it all down.  Kudos! |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
Thanks you two. I'm glad this one was received well. Everyone deserves to be loved, even you. |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
you let me see it play out... I love that about the way you write, and it's so sweet...just break your heart sweet |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
Aw fanksh SEA. Yo da bomb. Everyone deserves to be loved, even you. |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I like it .. especially like a man who believes in mouthwash and a clean shirt and who can write it in a poem. You made me smile again. A |
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