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Open Poetry #45
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steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058


0 posted 2009-06-10 01:51 AM


what relief the cool night air,
like beds of ease in sky-palaces warm,
offer the traveler weary and worn
refreshing the soul, dissolving the care

mystically, ethereally, magically
as burdens lift like the morning fog
that settles serenely on the rain-laden bog
leaving a foot-print of morning's plea

sand-swept tones in hushes of brown
settling the soul like a fresh mown lawn
clippings resting from dusk till dawn
as sighs surreal regale simplicity's sound

and the world hushes soft in the cool night air
as its spirit sails aloft in the cool night air

© Copyright 2009 Steaven R Snow - All Rights Reserved
Heart2Heart
Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738
Scotland/Norway
1 posted 2009-06-10 05:58 AM


A nature poem beautifully penned just how I like it :-)  A pleasure to read.
Heart2Heart

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
2 posted 2009-06-10 09:19 AM


This is lovely! *S* I especially like the closing couplet... beautiful! *S*
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2009-06-10 04:27 PM


I am here with my scooby ears up.

"Ruh?"

A sonnet, perchance?

Do tell! I like the closing couplet particularly as well.

(And hey--sonnets are on my list of things to not do, since I do not/can not scan. *pout*)

But I love reading them!

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

4 posted 2009-06-10 05:59 PM


H2H,
your comments are very kind and much appreciated...thank you so much...glad you found this a pleasure

suthern,
the final couplet was my only (at least in my mind) my only contribution to the poetry of this write thanks bunches

serenity,
a sonnet? wellllll, a variant of a sonnet at least in rhyme scheme, but hardly in meter...I like to Lewis & Clark it when using a restrictive form...ya know? ...yeah, I think you know...I am honored by your commentary

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
5 posted 2009-06-11 12:31 PM


Oh, MY!

your words allowed me
to feel the breeze~

a gentle, just right,
breeze, not too cold or hot,
and the kind that has that certain
smell to it, blowing  softly across
your face....

~ARH

Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586
Oklahoma USA
6 posted 2009-06-11 08:55 AM


There is something about sitting in the cool night air, that is so soothing to the soul. This is a beautiful poem.
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
7 posted 2009-06-11 10:01 AM


steavenr...you peel the paint off the stones and let them sparkle as gems with your pen.enjoyed it!!
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

8 posted 2009-06-11 12:44 PM


ARH,
thanks kindly for your nice remarks...glad you 'felt' the write...your comments certainly added reality to it

OK Rose,
yeah, refreshing and fully enjoyable...I liked your description of 'soothing to the soul'...that really captures the essence

Dark,
stop, now...please...your words are too much...he says while blushing...but, remembering to be thankful for such high praise

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
9 posted 2009-06-11 04:17 PM


Hi Steavenr...refreshing words and vivid images brought harmony...Thanks for the poem.

yann

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
10 posted 2009-06-14 09:37 AM


quote:
mystically, ethereally, magically
as burdens lift like the morning fog
that settles serenely on the rain-laden bog
leaving a foot-print of morning's plea



Glad, that while diving, I came across this one, dear Steaven. It's ever so beautiful!

Love,
Margherita

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
11 posted 2009-06-14 11:25 AM


Reads like a summer nights dream, and you have captured so much in the cool breeze.

Nice nice, poem~

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