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Open Poetry #45
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Bloodline
Member
since 2009-05-23
Posts 236
Oklahoma

0 posted 2009-06-08 08:36 PM


Formed of Love and toil or lust and want
Design is sapient, though helpless and weak,
Imitating sounds with a language meek
Of body and soft of mind, nerves taunt
And driven by the curve in constant haunt,
Voice hunger pleas, all functions over peak.
Movement is a driven struggle to seek
The unknown, void to pain nor vaunt
To cease for speech to meld one thought.
Unable by reckless wonder to ever stop
Save some rude waking bring clear truth.
What then? If light be in question caught
We reason with razor will to sever, lop
Off each answer, that, ends our blinded youth!



© Copyright 2009 granville - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2009-06-08 08:43 PM


Love the rhyme scheme in this and dang, how deep and true your words run in this.  Nice to meet you, and a pleasure to read you.  ~D
Bloodline
Member
since 2009-05-23
Posts 236
Oklahoma
2 posted 2009-06-08 08:53 PM


Gentle Spirit,

your words are like coos of the dove,

thank you,
Bloodline

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
3 posted 2009-06-08 09:02 PM


Yo dear Bloodline,

This poem has an interesting rhyme scheme.

Bobby

Bloodline
Member
since 2009-05-23
Posts 236
Oklahoma
4 posted 2009-06-08 09:07 PM


Thank you Bobby, it's an
old, old rhyme scheme
of the kind I find calming,

Bloodline

Allogenes
Junior Member
since 2008-01-16
Posts 35

5 posted 2009-06-08 10:18 PM


    Oh, a Petrachian sonnet. You don't see one of them everyday.

    Not bad ..

Heart2Heart
Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738
Scotland/Norway
6 posted 2009-06-09 07:49 AM


Well reasoned sonnet Mr. G !  Loved your ark of choice !
Heart2Heart

Bloodline
Member
since 2009-05-23
Posts 236
Oklahoma
7 posted 2009-06-09 07:35 PM


Allogenes, thank you, I just like
the rhyme sound on word thoughts,

Heart2Heart, Dear Lady may the
season fulfill your reason
with rhyme, many thanks,

Bloodline

Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
8 posted 2009-06-13 10:46 PM


This is interesting and reads aloud very well.  I like the rhyme scheme - thank you for sharing your work.

Alison

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