the way your wrap your arm around her and intertwine your fingers is something I used to dream of. like when we used to talk and write together and our words flowed freely, openly, in rhythm. our stories were cries to each other, for each other; and somehow we made it work.
I used to dream of what we would become. what our journey would bring us to together as we discussed the future. as we vented, ranted, praised, cried out, rejoiced, loved. as we confided in each other, helped each other through, and watched as we both crumbled.I didn't have to dream about it, because I was living it. I fell in love with what we had, and what I convinced myself of otherwise.
I fell in love with a dream that would never come true for us. you have it now. you have it, and seeing the way your caress the small of her back as you open the door for her sends remnants of memories from our past. it sends me spiraling backwards to a time where we were that close.
when we made eye-contact it distracted me for a mere second, but the hurt send me back to reality. I was reminded of the good, the bad, and the pure pain from what we had. I'd like for that feeling to never return; and yet the thought of never seeing you again hurts just as much.
I wish I never would've told you the truth that night.
"Many of the most significant moments in our lives come not because it all went right, but because it all fell apart." - Rob Bell