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Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 05-08-2008
Posts 427
Canada


0 posted 02-16-2011 06:38 AM       View Profile for Just.Another.Falling.Star   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Just.Another.Falling.Star's Home Page   View IP for Just.Another.Falling.Star

I guess you could say this is a rant...and yet not really.

_____________________________________________________________


I'm on a one way street with you, it seems, and we're going opposite directions. We both have the same destination but our means of getting there are far from similar. Constantly clashing, there's no room for both of us here. Only one can get through to the end, to where life begins. But are we willing to leave the other to furthar our own selfish lives? Or will we wait together and put up with the problems that the world throws at us, will we wait together until we find ourselves...

julianna

"Many of the most significant moments in our lives come not because it all went right, but because it all fell apart." - Rob Bell

© Copyright 2011 Julianna - All Rights Reserved
XGarapanX
Senior Member
since 06-19-2008
Posts 1416
Rekjavik Iceland


1 posted 03-27-2011 11:02 PM       View Profile for XGarapanX   Email XGarapanX   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit XGarapanX's Home Page   View IP for XGarapanX

Oh but I DO love this piece! Great work indeed!

·´~`·­»Garapan«­·´~`·  "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

HolsJoscelyne
Junior Member
since 04-05-2011
Posts 23
Colchester, United Kingdom


2 posted 04-05-2011 02:57 PM       View Profile for HolsJoscelyne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for HolsJoscelyne

that's so good,
and even if you didn't mean to, there are potential layers.
I'm assuming it's written about conflicting lovers as is most of the poetry written on the teen forum but I'm thinking it could also be twins before birth?
Just a thought.
If you could revisit this and alter the structure and look at the spellings.
It'd be perfect all the key components and words and phrases are all there to make a poem or prose that literally goes 'POW' with emotion!

Good luck!

Holly Joscelyne poetry at dougthedreadpoetry.blogspot.com

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