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Teen Poetry #9

without u

khadidja
Junior Member

since 2010-12-03

Posts 16

0 posted 2011-01-06 03:36 PM

my day became night
my wrong became right
my smile begain tear
my joy became fear
my colors are grey
don't know what to say
everything is unfair
my dreams are nightmare
darkness every where
trees are crying
betterfly are not flying
flowers are dieying
the rain keep falling

WITHOUT YOU ARROUND

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

1 posted 2011-01-16 11:17 PM

I love the sincerity of this.

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

~XxMz.NerdyRockstarxX~
Junior Member

since 2011-01-14

Posts 15
Alabama, United States

2 posted 2011-01-17 06:52 AM

i like this alot GREAT JOB

~XxExpect Nothing N You'll Never Get HurtxX~

Starcitta
Junior Member

since 2011-01-21

Posts 18
WY, USA

3 posted 2011-01-21 06:26 PM

very beautiful, it speaks to me...it seems like a bad break-up maybe, or just the loss of someone special. Unfortunately alot of us know loss all too well, besides some typos and grammar, the voice in ur poetry lets you get away with it. Good job, i'd like to read more of your work.

Amor Y Lagrimas

khadidja
Junior Member

since 2010-12-03

Posts 16

4 posted 2011-01-26 01:57 PM

thank u guys

I'll b more than happy to share this feelings with u

thank u very very much for ur comments

I promis u that u'll see more and more from me

thx

maddorani
Member

since 2007-11-18

Posts 423
houston,tx

5 posted 2011-03-11 06:01 PM

i love it i can somehow relate to you

FloraScars
Junior Member

since 2010-11-08

Posts 33
VA, USA

6 posted 2011-03-15 04:24 PM

very creative poem, keep writing!

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