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 Missing You
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Passions in Poetry

Missing You

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Sara Mikael
Junior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 34


0 posted 01-03-2011 08:27 AM       View Profile for Sara Mikael   Email Sara Mikael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sara Mikael

lying on the green grass
watching the blue carpet above
thinking of how the dream would last
while the river of love was behind me
hearing the flaps of the wings
and to a bird that always sings
I stood where I could smell the breeze
my hair fell in curls around my face
the feeling of missing you made me freeze
in my heart still feel the space
that you've made after you're gone away
Beats of my heart were in increase
and every peace of me was in a fray
fighting to get some peace
but I still feel the space
that you've made after you're gone away
but memories will forever stay
your soul rests in peace
we will never forget you and for you will pray......

***************************************************
Give me your own opinion after u've read it please.
Thank You.


© Copyright 2011 Saralib - All Rights Reserved
XGarapanX
Senior Member
since 06-19-2008
Posts 1416
Rekjavik Iceland


1 posted 01-03-2011 08:10 PM       View Profile for XGarapanX   Email XGarapanX   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit XGarapanX's Home Page   View IP for XGarapanX

Oh my gumbo. This is truly a very sincere poem full of meaning and I love it for what it is. My personal opinion is always that correct punctuation and spelling can only increase a poems worth, and there are some issues with that. And maybe someone else might have chosen some different wording in some places, and perhaps taken a careful eye to avoid repetitive words as well (barring intentional repetition for effect). But all in all it's really right on track in my view, as far as plainly spoken and stirring sentiments in poetry are concerned. I enjoyed this. Thank you for revealing your heart to us.

·´~`·­»Garapan«­·´~`·  "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

Sara Mikael
Junior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 34


2 posted 01-04-2011 08:09 AM       View Profile for Sara Mikael   Email Sara Mikael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sara Mikael

Thank you very much.......But I have some difficulties in English Language because it's not my first language...
and thank you very much for encouraging me....
Sara Mikael will be notified of replies
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