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 what you don't see....
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Passions in Poetry

what you don't see....

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*tori_rose*
Junior Member
since 10-12-2010
[First Post] 44
Weber City, VA


0 posted 10-13-2010 01:11 PM       View Profile for *tori_rose*   Email *tori_rose*   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for *tori_rose*


this is my first posted poem so i would love to hear your thoughts.


You look at me and see me smile,
but on the inside I feel like I'm dying

you never see my true feelings cause by day I am happy but by night I am laying and crying.


My thoughts are like a jigsaw puzzle.
not knowing where they should go
I try and try to get it right but it doesn't seem to work.


My nerves are all rattled
and I wish my mind would go blank


I lay in my bed wishing as I am crying.
no one there to hold me
just me, myself and I

oh how I wish it would all just go away but I know it never will....

~*tori*~

© Copyright 2010 victoria wheale - All Rights Reserved
XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 01-20-2008
Posts 887
Neverland


1 posted 10-13-2010 11:26 PM       View Profile for XxForever.BrokenxX   Email XxForever.BrokenxX   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for XxForever.BrokenxX

I completely understand how you feel. You really got to the point quickly and described the situation well, but in a way that still kept me interested in how it would end. Great first post. =]

Now, speaking from my own experience I'd have to say that even though it feels like it'll never go away, sometimes it does. other times it doesn't but all you have to do then is think back to all the times it has.
That feeling of being alone even in a group of people. Feeling like you can't let your guard down because it's too hard to put it back up.  and crying, not because you're sad but because you don't know what else to do.
All these things can overwhelm us to a point where we feel like we are spinning in circles and wont ever be able to find our way. But I'll tell you what, all you have to do is get someones attention and ask for directions. It's true that most times that's harder than sitting it out, and sometimes there isn't any other way, but if we just sit around waiting for answers we wont find them.  

just some thoughts.

I hope you find your way soon. =]

good write,

{~~*~~}

EmilyTheStrange
{~~*~~}
I have a pet unicorn...his name is Flavius, as in Flavius Belby. Flavius does not like gumballs..

animecrazy71
Junior Member
since 10-01-2010
Posts 16
Pakistan


2 posted 10-14-2010 04:37 PM       View Profile for animecrazy71   Email animecrazy71   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit animecrazy71's Home Page   View IP for animecrazy71

I really liked the poem, very touching....
*tori_rose*
Junior Member
since 10-12-2010
Posts 44
Weber City, VA


3 posted 10-14-2010 05:35 PM       View Profile for *tori_rose*   Email *tori_rose*   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for *tori_rose*

thank you both very much i am glad you like it. you will have to watch out for more cause i am goin to post another similar to this at some point to day

~*tori*~

animecrazy71
Junior Member
since 10-01-2010
Posts 16
Pakistan


4 posted 10-17-2010 06:49 AM       View Profile for animecrazy71   Email animecrazy71   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit animecrazy71's Home Page   View IP for animecrazy71

i will be looking forward to it....
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


5 posted 10-17-2010 03:29 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Welcome to Passions!

Please, check your email
for a Very Special Greeting!

" It matters not this distance now  " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

*tori_rose*
Junior Member
since 10-12-2010
Posts 44
Weber City, VA


6 posted 10-18-2010 07:56 PM       View Profile for *tori_rose*   Email *tori_rose*   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for *tori_rose*

i posted it thought i would let you know, its called A cover up.

~*tori*~

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 06-18-2006
Posts 2539
Canada


7 posted 11-07-2010 03:49 PM       View Profile for hunnie_girl   Email hunnie_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hunnie_girl

Welcome to Passions. great first post! the more you write the more of a natural you will become. just write from the heart
Krysti
Prats
Member
since 12-16-2010
Posts 74


8 posted 12-17-2010 07:23 AM       View Profile for Prats   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Prats

A really touching poem...
doesn't seem like u r writing 1st time...

Prats!!! :D
Heaven is not that place where you go when you die... it's that time in your life when you actually feel ALIVE!!!

XGarapanX
Senior Member
since 06-19-2008
Posts 1416
Rekjavik Iceland


9 posted 01-02-2011 05:32 AM       View Profile for XGarapanX   Email XGarapanX   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit XGarapanX's Home Page   View IP for XGarapanX

This reminds me, in it's style and precise wording, very much of Japanese poetry. Very cool.

·´~`·­»Garapan«­·´~`·

Sara Mikael
Junior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 34


10 posted 01-03-2011 09:48 AM       View Profile for Sara Mikael   Email Sara Mikael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sara Mikael

amazingly written.........

good job....
*tori_rose*
Junior Member
since 10-12-2010
Posts 44
Weber City, VA


11 posted 01-07-2011 12:14 PM       View Profile for *tori_rose*   Email *tori_rose*   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for *tori_rose*

thank you all   and you are right its not my first time writing just the first time i let anyone else read them i have pages i have written in various moods

~*tori*~

*tori_rose* will be notified of replies
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