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 Teen Poetry #9
 when you're not here. .
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Passions in Poetry

when you're not here. .

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flyinwiild
New Member
since 10-07-2009
Posts 9


0 posted 08-29-2010 09:00 PM       View Profile for flyinwiild   Email flyinwiild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for flyinwiild


distance molds a perfect ache
ipatience plays a painful game. .
a burning heart, and stinging eyes
echoed ticking slows the time

a coldness overtakes the night
this bitter air steals the life
'i need you' choked out intact
collides with silence, a fatal crash

:: lets all pack up and move this year. . we'll slip the lirs, and disappear. ::

© Copyright 2010 flyinwiild - All Rights Reserved
XGarapanX
Senior Member
since 06-19-2008
Posts 1416
Rekjavik Iceland


1 posted 01-02-2011 10:26 AM       View Profile for XGarapanX   Email XGarapanX   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit XGarapanX's Home Page   View IP for XGarapanX

I love this absolutely. This kind of writing is like a rhythmic chant. Only, the rhythm gets a little cut up in the second stanza but otherwise it's sublime. I enjoyed the story.

·´~`·­»Garapan«­·´~`·  "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

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