NOT laughing at you... but being a father and having raised a son, and having had some similar conversations with him as to what was and was not allowed..
I see times have not changed at all, which is to me at least amusing..
It is tough..for you and for a parent. Parents tend to worry a lot...about things you may not even thnk of, and often they are motivated to take a stern approach out fo their own fear that something happen to you.... it isn't easy to find compromise or to even feel like you are heard I'm sure.
I would say..the motive for most such "rules" are well intended and fueled by the care and love the parent has...
your poem... is a nice read.. and you capture well as I remember some of the feelings expressed to me by my son as well as some of the things I may have said to him, so I enjoyed!
good luck... and don't be too hard on your folks... they are human too.