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 Teen Poetry #9
 forever
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Passions in Poetry

forever

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hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 06-18-2006
Posts 2539
Canada


0 posted 06-18-2010 01:52 AM       View Profile for hunnie_girl   Email hunnie_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for hunnie_girl


The way you hold me in your arms
the way we fit so tight
Your smile, touch, and manly charms
got me loving this feelin tonight'

They watch us dance across the floor
we've danced the night away
I slowly sneak us out the door
And a lovely spot to end the day

Moonlit path of golden sand
feel it crumble at our feet
you reach for my hand
as we walk in synch with out heart beats

I hope this isn't a summer romance
A melody that sounds so real
this is really my last chance
I hope this is how, forever will feel
© Copyright 2010 Krysti - All Rights Reserved
mozart4321
Junior Member
since 06-29-2010
Posts 29


1 posted 07-01-2010 11:04 PM       View Profile for mozart4321   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mozart4321

i wish i could find someone like that!  there are some grammar mistakes, but if they were intentional, thats completely understandable.
*tori_rose*
Junior Member
since 10-12-2010
Posts 44
Weber City, VA


2 posted 10-13-2010 01:35 PM       View Profile for *tori_rose*   Email *tori_rose*   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for *tori_rose*

i loved it you are very expressive, as in i can actually picture what you have written

~*tori*~

XGarapanX
Senior Member
since 06-19-2008
Posts 1416
Rekjavik Iceland


3 posted 01-05-2011 07:53 PM       View Profile for XGarapanX   Email XGarapanX   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit XGarapanX's Home Page   View IP for XGarapanX

For me the rhythm was slightly sketchy in places and I wonder if that's how you meant it to be because I know you are a great writer. The content was beautiful and I felt it well.

·´~`·­»Garapan«­·´~`·  "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

 
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